Eclipse, стр. 63

EDWARD CARRIED ME HOME IN HIS ARMS, EXPECTING that I wouldn’t be able to hang on. I must have fallen asleep on the way.

When I woke up, I was in my bed and the dull light coming through my windows slanted in from a strange angle. Almost like it was afternoon.

I yawned and stretched, my fingers searching for him and coming up empty.

“Edward?” I mumbled.

My seeking fingers encountered something cool and smooth. His hand.

“Are you really awake this time?” he murmured.

“Mmm,” I sighed in assent. “Have there been a lot of false alarms?”

“You’ve been very restless — talking all day.”

“All day?” I blinked and looked at the windows again.

“You had a long night,” he said reassuringly. “You’d earned a day in bed.”

I sat up, and my head spun. The light was coming in my window from the west. “Wow.”

“Hungry?” he guessed. “Do you want breakfast in bed?”

“I’ll get it,” I groaned, stretching again. “I need to get up and move around.”

He held my hand on the way to the kitchen, eyeing me carefully, like I might fall over. Or maybe he thought I was sleepwalking.

I kept it simple, throwing a couple of Pop-Tarts in the toaster. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective chrome.

“Ugh, I’m a mess.”

“It was a long night,” he said again. “You should have stayed here and slept.”

“Right! And missed everything. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I’m part of the family now.”

He smiled. “I could probably get used to that idea.”

I sat down with my breakfast, and he sat next to me. When I lifted the Pop-Tart to take the first bite, I noticed him staring at my hand. I looked down, and saw that I was still wearing the gift that Jacob had given me at the party.

“May I?” he asked, reaching for the tiny wooden wolf.

I swallowed noisily. “Um, sure.”

He moved his hand under the charm bracelet and balanced the little figurine in his snowy palm. For a fleeting moment, I was afraid. Just the slightest twist of his fingers could crush it into splinters.

But of course Edward wouldn’t do that. I was embarrassed I’d even had the thought. He only weighed the wolf in his palm for a moment, and then let it fall. It swung lightly from my wrist.

I tried to read the expression in his eyes. All I could see was thoughtfulness; he kept everything else hidden, if there was anything else.

“Jacob Black can give you presents.”

It wasn’t a question, or an accusation. Just a statement of fact. But I knew he was referring to my last birthday and the fit I’d thrown over gifts; I hadn’t wanted any. Especially not from Edward. It wasn’t entirely logical, and, of course, everyone had ignored me anyway. . . .

“You’ve given me presents,” I reminded him. “You know I like the homemade kind.”

He pursed his lips for a second. “How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?”

“What do you mean?”

“This bracelet.” His finger traced a circle around my wrist. “You’ll be wearing this a lot?”

I shrugged.

“Because you wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings,” he suggested shrewdly.

“Sure, I guess so.”

“Don’t you think it’s fair, then,” he asked, looking down at my hand as he spoke. He turned it palm up, and ran his finger along the veins in my wrist. “If I have a little representation?”

“Representation?”

“A charm — something to keep me on your mind.”

“You’re in every thought I have. I don’t need reminders.”

“If I gave you something, would you wear it?” he pressed.

“A hand-me-down?” I checked.

“Yes, something I’ve had for a while.” He smiled his angel’s smile.

If this was the only reaction to Jacob’s gift, I would take it gladly. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“Have you noticed the inequality?” he asked, and his voice turned accusing. “Because I certainly have.”

“What inequality?”

His eyes narrowed. “Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn’t. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That’s utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?”

“Easy.” I shrugged. “You’re more important than everyone else. And you’ve given me you. That’s already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance.”

He processed that for a moment, and then rolled his eyes. “The way you regard me is ludicrous.”

I chewed my breakfast calmly. I knew he wouldn’t listen if I told him that he had that backward.

Edward’s phone buzzed.

He looked at the number before he opened it. “What is it, Alice?”

He listened, and I waited for his reaction, suddenly nervous. But whatever she said didn’t surprise him. He sighed a few times.

“I sort of guessed as much,” he told her, staring into my eyes, a disapproving arch to his brow. “She was talking in her sleep.”

I flushed. What had I said now?

“I’ll take care of it,” he promised.

He glared at me as he shut his phone. “Is there something you’d like to talk to me about?”

I deliberated for a moment. Given Alice’s warning last night, I could guess why she’d called. And then remembering the troubled dreams I’d had as I’d slept through the day — dreams where I chased after Jasper, trying to follow him and find the clearing in the maze-like woods, knowing I would find Edward there . . . Edward, and the monsters who wanted to kill me, but not caring about them because I’d already made my decision — I could also guess what Edward had overheard while I’d slept.

I pursed my lips for a moment, not quite able to meet his gaze. He waited.

“I like Jasper’s idea,” I finally said.

He groaned.

“I want to help. I have to do something,” I insisted.

“It wouldn’t help to have you in danger.”

“Jasper thinks it would. This is his area of expertise.”

Edward glowered at me.

“You can’t keep me away,” I threatened. “I’m not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me.”

Suddenly, he was fighting a smile. “Alice doesn’t see you in the clearing, Bella. She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won’t be able to find us; you’ll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterward.”

I tried to keep as cool as he was. “That’s because Alice didn’t factor in Seth Clearwater,” I said politely. “If she had, of course, she wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn’t be too hard to persuade him to show me the way.”

Anger flickered across his face, and then he took a deep breath and composed himself. “That might have worked . . . if you hadn’t told me. Now I’ll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won’t be able to ignore that kind of injunction.”

I kept my smile pleasant. “But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I’ll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you.”

He had to compose himself again. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders.”

I frowned. “Jacob?”

“Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too.”

He had me, and by his smile, he knew it. My forehead crumpled. Jacob would be on his side — in this one instance — I was sure. And Jacob never had told me that.

Edward took advantage of the fact that I was momentarily stumped, continuing in a suspiciously smooth and soothing voice.

“I got a fascinating look into the pack’s mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche . . . Absolutely fascinating.”

He was obviously trying to distract me. I glared at him.

“Jacob’s been keeping a lot of secrets,” he said with a grin.

I didn’t answer, I just kept glaring, holding on to my argument and waiting for an opening.

“For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night?”

I nodded one stiff nod.

He chuckled. “They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for.”

I sighed. “Okay, I’ll bite. What are you talking about?”

“They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform.”

“So someone changed who wasn’t a direct descendant?”

“No. She’s a direct descendant, all right.”

I blinked, and my eyes widened. “She?”

He nodded. “She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater.”

“Leah’s a werewolf!” I shrieked. “What? For how long? Why didn’t Jacob tell me?”

“There are things he wasn’t allowed to share — their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn’t able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that’s all out the window.”

“I can’t believe it. Leah Clearwater!” Suddenly, I remembered Jacob speaking of Leah and Sam, and the way he acted as if he’d said too much — after he’d said something about Sam having to look in Leah’s eyes every day and know that he’d broken all his promises. . . . Leah on the cliff, a tear glistening on her cheek when Old Quil had spoken of the burden and sacrifice the Quileute sons shared. . . . And Billy, spending time with Sue because she was having trouble with her kids . . . and here the trouble actually was that both of them were werewolves now!

I hadn’t given much thought to Leah Clearwater, just to grieve for her loss when Harry had passed away, and then to pity her again when Jacob had told her story, about how the strange imprinting between Sam and her cousin Emily had broken Leah’s heart.

And now she was part of Sam’s pack, hearing his thoughts . . . and unable to hide her own.

I really hate that part, Jacob had said. Everything you’re ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see.

“Poor Leah,” I whispered.

Edward snorted. “She’s making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I’m not sure she deserves your sympathy.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it’s painful for everyone.”