Winter Kill, стр. 47
Except.
Except he’d be chasing serial killers. Something he’d never wanted to do. Fascinating, maybe, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever get another good night’s sleep.
And he’d be living in Virginia, x miles away from Rob.
Which didn’t change the fact that almost anyone he knew would jump at this chance. Russell would jump at it. Russell would probably be willing to kill him for it. Actually Russell was probably ready to kill him on general principles.
Well, he wouldn’t have to put up with Russell for much longer.
If he took the job.
And of course he was going to take the job. It would be irresponsible not to. Even Rob had said he’d be crazy not to take it.
Sam Kennedy wouldn’t ask twice. This was a one-time offer. Take it or leave it.
The problem was, he couldn’t shake the feeling that by taking the position on Kennedy’s team he was passing up another and more important opportunity. A chance at something that was even more rare than the chance to become one of Kennedy’s elite man hunters.
Adam got out a bottle of gin, carefully poured a drink, and wandered to the window, gazing down at the glitter of lights. The frenetic winking and blinking of a city that never slept.
He sipped his drink and thought of Rob’s snowy retreat where the lights came from the stars.
It was after ten. What was Rob doing right now? Filling out a mountain of paperwork probably. Maybe having a drink at the Marina Grill? Or maybe he’d decided to visit his friend in Klamath Falls.
Agent Darling, I think I may be in love.
Adam smiled. His smile faded. Okay, but you couldn’t just…follow your heart.
Could you?
That was not the way he’d been raised.
He knew what his father would say if he told him he was throwing away everything he’d worked for, everything he’d achieved. Being accepted into the FBI was about the only thing he’d ever done that made his father proud.
His father was a lonely old man with a wall full of commendations, a wife who cared more about breeding poodles, and two kids who were too busy trying to emulate his successes to find time to phone home between official, major holidays.
Was it “throwing it away” if you realized your priorities had changed?
He put his drink down and fished out his cell phone. It didn’t hurt to call. To say hello? Thanks again for saving my life.
The phone rang and rang. And rang.
It was too late.
Sweat broke out on Adam’s forehead. His palms were wet. Been here and done that. He pressed Redial and the phone began to ring all over again.
I know you meant it. You can’t have changed your mind already.
The phone picked up and Rob—sounding no farther away than the next room—said, “’Lo?”
It took Adam a moment to find his voice. He really had been rattled for a moment. “Did I wake you?”
There was a pause before Rob said in a very different tone of voice, “I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you again.”
That delivered another jolt to Adam’s nervous system. Had their goodbye been that final? He thought back to the airport. It had been a little awkward with the distractions of other people and luggage and timetables. “Not at all?”
“Well, I was expecting a Christmas card.” Rob’s tone was rueful. “So this is definitely a bonus.”
Adam said, “But when we spoke this morning, I said I would…let you know how things were going.”
“Yes, you did,” Rob said. He sounded kind, like he was humoring Adam.
Adam thought back to the rushed coffee and toast they’d shared that morning. It felt like five minutes. And it felt like forever.
Rob was right. This wasn’t going to work.
Adam said, “I got home about twenty minutes ago.”
“Yeah? Did you have a nice flight?”
“It was okay. I thought I was coming home. Before I walked through this door I thought I had everything I wanted. I did have everything I wanted.”
“And then you realized you’d been robbed?” Rob was joking, but his heart didn’t seem to be in it.
Adam drew a deep breath—it felt like he was going for the high dive. “When I walked through this door I realized the one thing I really want—need—isn’t here. Because you’re not here.”
Silence.
Adam swallowed noisily. “I want—”
At the same time Rob said, “I can’t—”
They both stopped. The silence was excruciating.
Adam said, “You go ahead.”
“I interrupted you. Go on.”
“Right. Well. What if I made a mistake?”
“Did you?”
Rob was not making this easy, but why should he? He had put it all out there, laid it on the line, and Adam had basically said his career needed to come first. So no more hedging, no more equivocating, no more safety net.
“Yes,” Adam said. “I think I made one hell of a mistake.”
The silence on the other end felt alive, electric. “So what are you saying, Adam?”
“I’m saying that if you meant the things you said yesterday—”
“I meant every word.”
“Then I want to give this a try. I want to make this work.”
Rob said slowly, “Okay. Well, I don’t think I’m going to be happy living in L.A. or Virginia or wherever we end up, but I don’t think I’m going to be happy without you either. So—”
“So I feel the same.” Adam rushed in because Rob shouldn’t always be the one making concessions, giving ground. “And like you said, you’ve tried city living. It wasn’t a good fit. I guess I can give the wide open spaces a shot.”
There was another of those disconcerting pauses before Rob said with almost touching uncertainty, “Are you sure, Adam?”
“The only thing I’m sure of is wherever you are is where I belong.” Adam glanced at his watch. “It’s after ten. I don’t know if I can get a flight out tonight, but—”
“Try.”
“I’m going to try.”
Rob said, “It’s about an hour from here to the airport. I’m looking for my keys now.”
“Maybe you should wait to hear if I catch the red-eye.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Rob replied. “Whenever you get here, I’ll be waiting.”
About the Author
A distinct voice in gay fiction, multi-award-winning author JOSH LANYON has been writing gay mystery, adventure and romance for over a decade. In addition to numerous short stories, novellas, and novels, Josh is the author of the critically acclaimed Adrien English series, including The Hell You Say, winner of the 2006 USABookNews awards for GLBT Fiction. Josh is an Eppie Award winner and a four-time Lambda Literary Award finalist.
Find other Josh Lanyon titles at http://www.joshlanyon.com
Follow Josh on Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads.
If you enjoyed this story, check the following titles, also by Josh Lanyon:
Novels
The ADRIEN ENGLISH Mysteries
Fatal Shadows
A Dangerous Thing
The Hell You Say
Death of a Pirate King
The Dark Tide
Stranger Things Have Happened
The HOLMES & MORIARITY Mysteries
Somebody Killed His Editor
All She Wrote
The Boy with the Painful Tattoo
Other novels
The ALL’S FAIR Series
Fair Game
Fair Play
This Rough Magic (A SHOT IN THE DARK Series)
The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks
Mexican Heat (with Laura Baumbach)
Strange Fortune
Come Unto These Yellow Sands
Stranger on the Shore
Novellas
The DANGEROUS GROUND Series
Dangerous Ground
Old Poison
Blood Heat
Dead Run
Kick Start
The I SPY Series
I Spy Something Bloody
I Spy Something Wicked
I Spy Something Christmas
The IN A DARK WOOD Series
In a Dark Wood
The Parting Glass
The DARK HORSE Series
The Dark Horse
The White Knight
Snowball in Hell (DOYLE & SPAIN Series)
Haunted Heart: Winter (HAUNTED HEART Series)