Circus, стр. 37

“Madness doesn’t make sense. And it’s contradictory.”

“So you finally admit your madness?”

“Not that madness,” I say. “The other madness.”

“There are two kinds of madness now?” He really doesn’t like this conversation.

“Yes, of course. There is that loony-toony bonkers madness where you’re wrapped up in a straitjacket and locked inside a room.”

“And the other madness?”

“It’s all out there in the world you live in, doctor,” I say. “I mean, you may think it’s not madness, only because you’re used to it. But it surely is all messed up.”

“Uh-huh.” He takes a deep breath. “Look, Alice. I have no idea where to take the therapy from here. All I know is that I will prescribe you more Lullaby pills, and, sorry to say, this time I prefer you go back to the Mush Room. A few shock sessions might stir some sort of progress.”

I purse my lips for a while, contemplating if the shock therapy still scares me. I think it doesn’t. It’s just pain. And trust me, there are much worse things in this life than pain. “Tell me, doctor,” I say, “do you at least believe what I said about the circus, the Invisible Plague?”

“I know for a fact it’s real,” he says. “Sadly, many mentally ill have been wrongfully treated in the past. What I don’t believe is that you time-traveled to witness it with your own eyes, let alone the patients were all Wonderlanders.”

“But let’s say you believe,” I say. “What would you do? I mean, would you take the people’s side or the mentally ill’s side?”

The doctor stays silent for a long time, then he says something that shocks me: “To a degree, we’re all mentally ill, Alice. It’s just that on a scale of one to ten, you’re infinity in your illness. Infinity means straitjacket in an isolated cell.”

Chapter 77

Alice’s cell, Radcliffe Lunatic Asylum

I can’t take my eyes off Waltraud as she ushers me into my cell. I want to tell her that I saw her in the circus, but I am sure she will deny it, and then I wouldn’t know where to take the conversation from there.

I watch her lock me up. Today she says nothing. She doesn’t mock or make fun of me. I wonder why.

“Rest the night,” she says. “Tomorrow, you’re first on my shock therapy list. And you know how good of a customer you are to me.”

“I know,” I say behind bars. “I assume I am as good as those you tortured in the circus?”

She takes a moment to look at me, but she doesn’t seem to grasp any of it. “I guess that’s one of your loony stories again. A circus? Is that part of the Alice Underground book?”

“Nah.” I wave it off. “It’s nothing.”

I could ask her if she saw me on the news, running away with a rabbit in my hand, but I know she usually denies I was on the news.

I watch her walk away, and sit down next to my Tiger Lily. It’s weird how I feel at home. I am sorry, but I really missed my cell.

Chapter 78

Alice’s cell, Radcliffe Lunatic Asylum

Sometime around midnight, I hear a knock on my door. I stand up and stare at whoever it is behind the bars. I am sure I won’t panic if it turns out to be the Cheshire disguised as Ogier again. I have seen my share of spooks lately.

But it’s not the Cheshire. It’s Margaret Kent.

“I am not dreaming, am I?” I say to her.

“Nor are you hallucinating,” she says, wearing her expensive jewelry and dress.

“That’s hard to swallow,” I reply. “Because why in the world would you visit me, Duchess?”

“It’s an unofficial visit, Alice—or whoever you really are.” She chews on the words. It’s apparent that she is disgusted by the asylum. “I have a message for you.”

“From whom?”

“From the Queen of England.”

“Her majesty?” I say it in an ironic way, still wondering if this is really happening.

“We have the key, Alice,” Margaret says in a sharp businesswoman tone. “The Hatter works for us. We planned it all. The rabbit. The bomb. Everything. We had to push you to the edge of your mind so you would remember where you hid the key—one of the six, to be precise.”

I’m not that surprised. In fact, the more pieces of the puzzle that come together, the better I feel. “When you say ‘we,’ you mean who exactly?”

“Black Chess,” she says. “The Wonderlanders who were tortured by humans in the Circus. No one can’t stop us.”

“But not all Wonderlanders are on Black Chess’s side.”

“I know what the March Hare told you,” she says. “You know how we know? Because the light bulb in his head is real. We can see through his thoughts. He tried to protect in you by not tell you everything because he knew we’ll know. The light bulb is a Lewis Carroll invention.”

“I don’t care how powerful you are,” I say. “Fabiola showed you which side I’m really on.”

“So we’re playing with open cards right now?” she laughs. “Funny you mention cards.” She smirks. “Now that you don’t even have Jack in your life.”

This gets on my nerves. It hurts so much I want to puke my guts out. Damn the Duchess.

“Look, I don’t have much time, and like I said, I have a message for you,” she says. “I know you still have so many questions—hell, I have so many questions. But the bottom line is this. The Wonderland Wars are partially about the Six Impossible Keys Lewis gave you in the past. Don’t ask me why they are important. You will know in time.”

“I figured out that much about the keys, and I figured I don’t remember where I hid them, and that you’ll do your best to make me remember to get to them,” I say. “So tell me what you’re really here for.”

“Let me put it this way,” she says. “Although you found the key, you didn’t really remember where you hid it. Hell, you didn’t even remember the circus in Wonderland happened. From what the Hatter told me, you only remembered what your sisters did to you in real life.”

“So?”

“So, as much as you seem to know about Alice, we’re not sure you’re her yet, but...” She jabs a finger in the air. “The Queen wants you on our side.”

“Are you offering a position in Black Chess, really?” I snort.

“Think about it. You’ll be a free girl. We’ll get you out of the asylum. You won’t have to struggle with Wonderland Monsters each week. What else can you ask for?”

“And you expect me to lead you to the keys, of course.”

“There is a price to everything, and sanity is almost priceless.”

“You’re dreaming, Duchess,” I say. “Whether I am Alice or not, the fact that deep in my memory I know where the keys are obliges me to hold on to them.” I can’t forget how concerned Lewis was about the key he gave me in the Tom Tower. “Besides, tell me one logical reason why I would want to be on the Queen’s side in this war.”

“You want a reason?” Margaret smirks again. She nears the bars and stares into my eyes. “I have one good reason for you, especially if you turn out to be the Real Alice.”

“And what could that be?” I challenge her.

Her answer comes like a heavy tide threatening to swallow me into a sea of sharks. “Because you may not remember it yet, but you were one of us inside the cage in the circus. What humans have done to us was done to you, just the same.” Even though I don’t remember that, it bothers me dearly. “Haven’t you noticed how most people in this world are never on your side? Haven’t you noticed how they were happy thinking you died with the rabbit today? You’re one of us, Alice. You just don’t know it yet.”

Chapter 79

Buckingham Palace, London

Tom Truckle was listening to the Queen’s plan.

“All of you, my dear guests, lunatics, and ex-Wonderlanders, come from so many countries around the world,” she began. “All of you are friends with presidents and the most prestigious men and women in your land. And all of you don’t like any of them, too, because all of you were once in the circus.”