Atlas, стр. 43

"Stella. Are you okay?"

"You ask me now? Days later?" I asked, frustrated with how distant and cold he was.

"I had some things to take care of in the city," he answered evenly. He was too calm and collected.

"I'm fine," I told him with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare," he said, coming forward to grab my face. "Don't fucking apologize to me."

"I killed him," I whispered, my heart breaking with the admission.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking. "I never wanted you to have to do that."

His hands dropped from my face and he took a step back, giving us space. I didn't like it. I wanted him close. I wanted him to touch me, wrap me up and tell me nothing would ever hurt me again. Instead, he moved across the room as if he couldn't get far enough.

"In the hallway is a bag," he told me. "It's yours. Inside, you will find your keys to your apartment in San Francisco and everything you need to get on with your life."

"Get on with my life? What are you saying to me right now?"

Atlas rubbed his face roughly before looking me right in the eyes. The coldness made my stomach sink with dread.

"I took you from a new start. I kept my promise and kept you safe. No one will hurt you ever again."

"So, that's it? I just pretend none of this happened?"

"Exactly. You can never speak of anything you heard or saw here. Ever."

"You mean how I killed the leader of the most powerful mob family in Chicago? How we shot a man in the head as revenge for killing my family? What about the man killed for trying to rape me?"

Atlas crossed the room with a quickness of a predator. Large hands grabbed my throat and pinned me to the wall. The thrill of having his hands around my throat again heated my body.

"Never," he growled. "You are safe if you keep your mouth shut."

I nodded and stared back into his eyes. They went dark as he looked at my lips. I thought he would kiss me but he dropped me, pushing away from me.

"You need to leave. Go to California and go to school. It's paid for and you will be safe."

"You want me to leave?"

"That was always the plan, Stella," he said, his voice dripping with resignation. "I kept you safe, even if that meant killing you before my family got to you. It's over now and you have no reason to hide anymore."

My chest hurt thinking about leaving. This house was once a prison. Then it became a place of my own. I felt safe here. I was being thrusted back into the real world. A scary and vast place that I hadn't been a part of since my parents had left it.

"I don't want to leave," I bravely told him.

"Stella. Go. Take Liddy and start over."

Start over? He said it like it was so easy to leave everything behind. My childhood home was gone. My parents were gone. Ace would continue to look for his missing girl. I thought I had actually found something to fill that void, but he was pushing me away.

"There's money and everything is ready for you both. She will need you. This is the life you were meant for before I pulled you into a battle you had no business fighting."

"Sure," I finally said resignedly. "I will leave in the morning."

Atlas slowly came back to me where I stayed leaning against the wall. His hand gripped my chin lightly and tilted my face to his. I could smell his minty breath as he closed the small space between our lips. Our mouths connected and my body instantly reacted. My skin heated and my fingers clung to his jacket. I wanted to crawl inside of him.

Atlas's restraint broke and bit my bottom lip as he sucked it into his mouth. I could taste the cooper of my blood but it didn't scare me. It made my hungry for more. I pressed harder to him, wanting the pain and possession he would give me. But it never came. He pulled away just as quickly as he gave it and left me gasping against the wall.

"There will be a car ready for you both," he told me before walking out of the room.

As always, Atlas had kept his promise. I found my two-bedroom apartment just as I had expected. The bag was filled with money, and my wallet and keys. The book of boudoir photographs that we had once looked at together was also in my bag.

XXXII

Stella

San Francisco was nothing like I thought it would be. When I signed my lease, I thought I would live alone, in fear and paranoia. But here I was with a roommate, eating ice cream on the couch and watching Grey's Anatomy. I was okay.

"This can't be good for us," Liddy said, hitting pause. "We are in our twenties, hot and single. We should be out partying and shit."

"Last time you said that, I ended up tied up," I blurted.

Liddy knew everything that had happened since the last time I had seen her at the club. After a night of too much wine, I had told her everything. I watched as her face went from shock to horror to sadness. It was therapeutic to finally have someone know the truth and all the secrets I had been carrying.

"I need out," she said, standing and taking the blanket with her. I grabbed the carton of ice cream before it hit the floor.

"Liddy, I don't know," I said. I was scared and not too sure I was ready for that yet.

"Stella, it can't be healthy for us to stay locked up like this. Neither of us leave unless we need to. I can't stay locked up with my thoughts like this anymore."

I frowned because I was so focused on myself sometimes. I would never forget what Liddy went through. I was in the cell next to her but was lucky to never have endured the hell that she had. I listened to her any time she needed to cry or talk about it. Sometimes, I was so lost in my own feelings that I didn't consider Liddy's.

"You're right," I agreed. "Let’s go."

"Fucking A," she said, jumping up.

While we got ready like normal women in their twenties, a feeling of normalcy filled me. I didn't think I had ever gotten to be a normal girl before. I couldn't continue to be a ghost of who I was anymore. Atlas set me free so I could take the life I was looking for. What I really got was something better. I had looked pure evil in the eye and had survived. I knew without a doubt someone was looking out for me, and I had my brother.

"Ready, babe?" Liddy asked me from the doorway, looking hot in her little black dress.

"Fuck yeah," I said, grabbing my bag and pulling her from our apartment.

Down on the street, we quickly hailed a cab. I could feel how tense Liddy was. This was her first time out, too. I held her hand, wanting to be strong for her. Liddy needed this more than I did. As much as she told me it wasn't true, she got into that mess because of me. They took her looking for me and knowing Atlas would go to her as soon as he found out I was missing.

There was nothing better than being ushered into a club when the line was down the block. Liddy and I linked arms and walked inside calmly even though I knew we both wanted to jump in excitement. Inside, the lights were flashing and everything was neon and glowing. It was dark except for the black lights and glow sticks, lighting up the club enough to be fun and exciting.

We grabbed our glow necklaces and reached the bar, ordering neon-colored drinks. Liddy smiled widely at me, but it looked forced. Liddy had been more withdrawn since we had moved out here. I knew she had gone through something terrible and I didn't know how to help her. She downed her drink and quickly ordered us another one.