Shiver : 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror, стр. 77

I raised a bitch brow at Mel as Bailey walked away.

“Peckers? What the hell is that?”

Chapter 6

“How long do you have for lunch?” Mel asked with a tease. “It may take a little while to explain.”

“I have literally all day.”

I wasn’t kidding either. One bonus about my aunt’s stipulations, I didn’t have to work during the year I’m in limbo. She did encourage me to write though. Wonder if Demi Duchess is available as a pen name?

“So back to this Peckers thing. I’m assuming that Peckers is code for a guy’s junk, right?”

“Yes,” Mel said with a blush. “I need to share the backstory first.”

“I’m all ears for this one.” I stuffed the last bite of my chicken salad into my mouth.

“You know I work as a nurse with breast cancer patients, right?” Mel asked, and I nodded back at her.

“Well, every October around Halloween the nurses in our unit put together a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness. We had no clue what do this year? Our creative juices weren’t flowing, and we wanted something fun and different.”

“I remember you doing these in the past.” I stopped our server as she walked by our table. “Can we have two coffees, please?”

“And a couple of those mega size chocolate chip cookies?” Skinny Minnie Mel added. I cringed knowing that I had to be careful with what I ate. I sure as hell didn’t want to drudge up the long buried Fatty Patty.

“Coming right up.” The server wrote on her pad. “I’ll make sure those cookies are nice and warm too.”

“Great,” I whined. “I need to start up at a gym.”

“You should go where my brother does. It seems to have kept him in good shape.” I side eyed Mel, because her face had “matchmaker” written all over it.

“Okay, I’ll lay off the Thomas stuff, but I think he’s got the hots for you. Bailey sure seemed to think so.”

“You know I’ve always crushed on your brother and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m excited to hear he was talking about me. But enough about him for right now, you need to tell me your Peckers’ story.”

“You know he’s single right?” A sly smile slid across Mel’s face.

“I don’t know anything about him now.” Well that’s a lie. I know he looks fucking hot in his police uniform and I’d willingly volunteer for a full body search. Plus he can also sing like Frank Sinatra. “Well he can sure sing.”

“You heard him sing?” Mel said while deadpanning me.

“He might have crooned a line or two the other night.” I trailed off.

“I need details on what the ‘other night’ means. Nothing spared.”

“After you tell me about your Peckers.” We looked at each other and giggled. Our conversation was as scattered as my hair was the night I met Thomas, basically all over the place.

“Okay.” Mel took a deep breath. “The nurses and I went out for drinks after a shift to plan. We started talking about all the local places that cater to men looking at woman’s boobs. A new place just opened up called Twin Peaks.”

“You know what men say about those places. They go there for the wings.” I scoffed knowing that was a lie to cover their pervy asses.

“And you know what’s attached to wings?”

“Breasts.” We chimed in a little too loudly. The tables around us went silent as we buried our heads and snickered.

“Back to the story,” Mel took a sip of our just arrived coffee. “I said that we needed to have a place where we could go to ogle men. Have them take our Cosmopolitan and Cobb Salad orders while we checked out their packages.”

“I like this idea.” I grabbed off a morsel of the cookie in front of me and let the melted chocolate spread over my tongue. “These are crack.”

“Why do you think I ordered them?” Mel quipped.

“So you were at the ogling men part.” I twirled my hand signaling her to go on as I began morseling my way through the cookie. I felt less guilty tearing it off in little pieces than inhaling it.

“I thought we should think of a cutesy name for the male version of booby sports bars, and voila Peckers was born or hatched.” She sat back and straightened her shoulders.

“I think it’s brilliant. So you have the name, now what?”

“We are taking over Mickey’s Bar tomorrow night. It will be called Peckers for the evening. A local company even donated money for us to buy a neon sign for outside. Also, it’s Friday and Halloween Eve. We’re hoping to find dates for Halloween amongst the half-clothed wait staff,” Mel said with a wink.

“Half-clothed?” I asked, realizing Thomas was going to be at the event. I found myself getting rather squirmy in my seat.

“Yes, we’ve asked men from all professions to come help us with the fundraiser. They will be serving drinks and food with the assistance of some of the regular employees. All the men will be shirtless. It’s the one requirement.” I liked where Mel was taking this.

“The doctors will have stethoscopes around their necks. Lawyers and businessmen will have ties. Firemen will have a small hose.” Mel stopped and wiggled her brow. “Those who do manual labor will wear their tool belts. I think I’m forgetting one.”

“You sure as hell are. What about the policemen?” I had no shame at this point. I wanted to know about Thomas’ Peckers getup.

“Of course. Your boy Thomas will be sporting a gun holster over his bare chest.”

I gulped at the thought of seeing what was under that shiny badge. “Okay, when does this start tomorrow? And how can I help?”

“I have most of the bases covered right now, but I could use help after the event with clean up. I want you to come and have fun. You just got into town and I know there will be a lot of familiar faces. Including my brothers.”

“I’m in.” Mel plopped down a flyer in front of me, and I began to read it over.

“All the details are there. It’s a thirty-dollar donation per person, which includes one signature event drink. Peckers Passion. Some wild vodka and pineapple concoction.”

“You know what they say about pineapples as it relates to Peckers.” I quizzed while looking over the costume requirements for us gals.

“So I’ve heard.”

“We’re supposed to dress up as our favorite reality show person? You’ve got to be kidding me.” I reread the paper to make sure I had it right.

“Nope, pick anyone. If you stick with one of the Housewives all you need to do is tease your hair, put on a sleazy dress, and wear a resting Botox face,” Mel remarked.

“What are you going as?” I asked Mel.

“Kim Kardashian. I’m padding my ass and whining.” Mel shook her head and rolled her eyes while I laughed at how spot on she was.

“I’ll go as Gretchen Rossi. The blonde on Orange County. I saw her one time in New York at a bar with the guy she’s engaged to. She was sweet and he was creepy. It’s either that or Honey Boo Boo.” I took the flyer, folded it, and stuffed it inside my purse. I had one day to find the perfect outfit, schedule a root touch up along with one of those flowing curl blowouts.

“Now, before we leave. I want to hear about you and my bro.” Mel reached for the last bite of her cookie and settled into her chair.

I began at the tap on my window.

Chapter 7

After spilling every last detail to Mel and answering a hundred probing questions, she decided I was going to marry her brother. She even asked if I preferred ivory or white for a dress. I told her not to pick out the linens or china yet. Wait until we at least rounded first base.

I prayed that would happen and soon. I thought back to the simple touch of Thomas’ fingers on my cheek the other night as he gently wiped away my tears. God, he was so sweet and strong at the same time. I wanted to know each side of him… both in and out of bed.

I drove back to my aunt’s house and pulled onto the driveway. The fall leaves were covering the yard and I couldn’t see a blade of grass showing. The time had arrived for some manual labor. I found a rake and bags in her gardening shed behind the old Victorian and set out to clean the place up.