Gold, стр. 68
“I don’t need to hear this.” Eric turned and walked away.
“Not physically. We never did more than kiss.”
He looked back at her in confusion. “Really?”
“Yes.” She sighed. “I was with him, but my heart was here with you.”
“You can’t come over here and say that shit to me,” Eric said gruffly.
“Why? It’s the truth,” she spat. “You asked me why I pushed you away. At first, I thought it was Audrey. As hypocritical as it sounds, I felt like you lied to me by sleeping with her.”
“That does sound hypocritical.”
“I know. But when I came back to school and saw you, my world exploded in the middle of this transformation. I was scared and stubborn and refused to admit it.”
“Admit what?” His eyes begged for more.
“You know,” she whispered.
“No, I don’t. You think I’m going to let you off the hook without finally admitting your feelings for me?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Look, I’m trying here!”
“You’re not trying,” he cried. “I’ll tell you when you’re trying!”
“Don’t yell at me!”
“You put me through the ringer. You rejected me over and over again. You can’t walk in here and finally explain everything that happened this summer and think it’ll all be okay! It doesn’t work that way.”
“I know that! I don’t think it works that way. Fuck!” She jumped up and paced away from him. “I’m trying to talk to you.” She held her hands out in supplication.
“Then, keep talking because I don’t see how this pertains to me at all. You fucked up with two other guys and pushed me away. That’s all I’ve gotten from your little story.”
“You’re going to make this difficult, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I said make it good.”
Bryna took a deep breath and slowly let it out. She needed to get her thoughts under control. This wasn’t going at all how she’d thought it would. Not that she had expected Eric to fall at her feet. He had sworn he would never be that guy. She didn’t want him to be that guy. She just needed to lay it all out there.
“Let me start over,” she told him. “After Jude, I didn’t want to feel. I thought emotions and love were stupid things made up to torture people. I swore, I would never let myself fall apart again like I did with Jude. He ruined me.”
She fiddled with her fingers but kept eye contact. Eric needed to know she meant it.
“But without even trying, we fell together. You and I. Not easily. We fought. We argued. We yelled at each other. You didn’t put me on a pedestal. You treated me like I was a normal person. Not a queen or a bitch or a slut. And without even knowing it, I fell head over heels for you.”
“You did a good job of showing it,” he said sarcastically.
“I know. This hasn’t been easy for me. I mean, I was fucked up long before Jude. My parents’ divorce kind of shattered my world. I thought my stepmother had come in and ruined everything for me, but I talked to her after she had Zoe, and it turned out that I had been wrong about a lot of things. I think, in my own way, I showed you I cared. That night Audrey showed up at my house? I kissed you because I was jealous.”
Eric raised his eyebrows. “I figured as much.”
“I’ve never been jealous or guilty or regretful. It’s all because of you.”
“Oh, good. I bring out the worst in you.”
“God, that’s not what I meant.” She ground her teeth together to try to keep herself from biting back at him. “I ran. I was scared. Yep, I did it. What I felt for you…feel for you, I didn’t want to feel. I tried to escape it, but I couldn’t.”
“What do you feel? You still haven’t said exactly.”
“I’ve never done this before.”
“Tell me, or walk, Bri.”
Every time he pushed, she’d dig her feet in. She should just tell him, but for some reason, she couldn’t get the words out. They were there on the tip of her tongue, but they were just out of reach.
“Stop being so pushy! I’m here! That’s what you wanted, right?”
“I wanted honesty.” He gave her a demanding look.
“I want to be with you,” she said in a rush.
“Why? Two weeks ago, you claimed you didn’t want to be near me. Why now? What changed?”
“Because even when I’m not with you, I want to be. Seeing you brightens my day. Hearing you call me Hollywood or Bri feels right. I miss margarita Sundays and having lunch with you on Wednesdays. I miss seeing you at parties and being myself around you. I even miss our arguments. I don’t have to dig or be a good girl with you. I can just be myself. No matter what, it always comes back to you. It’s because I don’t want anyone else. I just want you.”
He smiled smugly. “That’s more like it.”
“Cocky asshole.”
“Pretty much, but you just said you liked that.”
“It wasn’t expressly listed,” she said.
“I added it to the list.”
Bryna looked at her feet and debated where to take it from here. There was still so much that needed to be said and that they needed to work out.
“I don’t care if we have to take things slow,” she told him. “We weren’t dating before. I know I have some making up to do.”
“Hmm…” he said, taking a step toward her. “Slow might work as long as I get to use all that make-up time.”
“A solid month of making up,” she offered.
“A month? Please! You walked out last semester.”
“You were sleeping with someone else!” she reminded him.
“So were you.”
“This isn’t helping,” she said. “You’re arguing with me about last semester when I’m over here, telling you that I’m in love with you.”
SHE LOVED HIM.
Bryna’s hand flew to cover her mouth at the same time his dropped wide open. She hadn’t known she was going to say that. She hadn’t even officially realized that was what she was feeling. But now that it was out, she couldn’t take it back. She didn’t want to take it back.
Love was something she had never wanted to feel again. But with Eric, she couldn’t help it. He drove her crazy, and he put her in her place, but he cared for her. He wasn’t purposely malicious, and even when she wouldn’t fight for herself, he was there fighting for them. He had known what she needed long before she did. She had taken a while to get there.
“You love me?” Eric asked in surprise. He walked over to her, and she met his gaze.
“Yeah, I do. I guess I’ve known for a while. I didn’t want it to be true with my past, but I can’t fight it. I love you.”
“You have a weird way of showing it.”
Bryna smacked his arm. “Ass.”
He grabbed her arm and then hauled her against him. In an instant, his lips were on hers.
It was like diving into a swimming pool on a hot summer day. The world silenced all around her.
His lips were soft, sensual, and all-consuming. There was nothing else in that moment, other than the feel of him against her. Her body pressed into his, and his arms wrapped around her waist. She brought hers around his neck. She was clinging to him breathlessly.
It felt like coming home.
She had been denying this for so long. Now, she had no reason to. She shouldn’t have waited. She had been stubborn and idiotic to push him away. She had never felt this complete release with no expectations and no complications.
Just Eric.
His tongue caressed her bottom lip, and she shivered all over.
He smiled against her mouth. “You love me,” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“I love you, too.”
She met his gaze, and all the pieces fell into place. This was where she was meant to be. Not with someone who valued her for her looks or her body. Not with someone who bought her happiness with gifts or someone who only liked her because of who he thought she was.