Gold, стр. 64

“I’m not torturing myself. But fuck if I’m going to sit at home either. I’d rather make better use of my time.”

“How the hell is this a better use of your time?” she demanded. She planted her hands on her hips.

“I’m assessing the competition.” He shrugged, and that signature smile graced his lips. “Seems meager at best.”

“Oh my God!” She shook her head and took a step back from him. “You’re drunk and being an ass. You should go home.”

His hands reached out and grabbed her hips. He was more deft than he had appeared seconds before. She stumbled forward against him, and in a second, he had her flipped around, her back pressing into the building and his hands pinning her to the spot.

“Come home with me.”

She stopped breathing for a second as she stared up into his face. It was so raw with emotion. His eyes were so hungry for her. “No,” she murmured. “I’m not playing right now. Let me go.”

“You’re going to need to do better than that. There’s none of the Hollywood spunk in your voice.” He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. “Be here with me right now. Don’t be with him. Don’t be with anyone else.”

His lips hovered inches from hers, and she promised herself she wasn’t fantasizing about kissing him—the memory of what his lips tasted like, the feel of them moving against her, the way everything else shut down.

“I’m here with my…Cam,” she managed to get out.

“But not your boyfriend,” he said. He sounded triumphant. “It’s never bothered you before to kiss other guys…fuck other guys when you didn’t have a boyfriend.”

His fingers pushed up into her hair, and he dragged their lips together. She could taste the alcohol on him. Whiskey. Dear God, it was like a shot of adrenaline to her system.

Yet she shoved him away.

“This is different. I’m not the same girl that I was when I did those things. I want to be different. I want to be…good. Fuck, I don’t know. Stop making this so damn difficult. Just go home! You’re drunk and making a fool of both of us.”

She stormed away from him because she knew if she stayed another second, he would kiss her again. He did every chance he could get now. It was like a drug neither of them seemed to be able to quit.

It terrified her. She wasn’t still angry with him for what had happened with Audrey.

She was angry with herself. For falling for him when she had promised herself she wouldn’t. For putting her heart in his hands without even knowing she had done it. For giving him control over her with just a touch.

She had given those things away once before, and it had ended in catastrophe. She couldn’t love him.

She sucked in a deep breath. Love wasn’t supposed to exist.

WHEN BRYNA WALKED BACK INSIDE, she ran into Gates.

“Hey, what happened? Where did you go?”

“Eric is back there. I hate to ask, but will you make sure he leaves? He’s drunk and causing a scene.”

“Yeah, I will. But what’s going on? Are you with Eric now? What about that other guy? What’s his name?”

“Cam,” she volunteered. “No, I’m not with Eric. He’s just…I don’t know.”

“Hmm…I think I understand. Let me go talk to him.”

“Thanks, Gates.” She gave him a hug and then back to Cam.

He was waiting for her at the bar. He had his arms crossed, and she could tell now he was pissed. She hoped he hadn’t seen her with Eric outside. She hadn’t meant for any of that to happen. But she never meant for anything with Eric to happen, but he kept weaseling his way back into her life over and over again.

“Hey,” she weakly said to Cam.

“What’s going on, Bryna? I feel like the girl I’ve been hanging out with over the past month disappeared tonight.”

“I’m still here. We’re still getting to know each other. I don’t know everything about you,” she said. “I have some baggage…I guess. It’s not all going to fix itself overnight.”

“Well, I don’t expect it to, but I didn’t think I’d get bombarded with ex-boyfriends.”

“Eric isn’t my—”

“And Gates?”

“Um…yeah, we dated.”

“I thought as much,” he said, looking away. “It’s fine. I know everyone has a past. I have a past and ex-girlfriends. I just want to be prepared when they come up and introduce themselves to me or you start basically having sex with them on the dance floor.”

She opened her mouth to object, but what he had said was the truth. She hadn’t wanted all of this to come out tonight, but it wasn’t as if she could hide it all forever. If they were going to date, then he needed to know.

“I guess you’ve seen the worst of me tonight.” It was a lie.

She hoped to God he never truly saw the worst of her. Her gold-digging status wasn’t that well-known. Most people just thought she liked to date older guys. That wasn’t so crazy.

“Come on. Why don’t you dance with me then?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t dance much but okay.”

They went out onto the floor and spent the rest of the night there. Gates resurfaced sometime later and nodded his head at her. That must have meant that he’d gotten Eric into a cab. She breathed a sigh of relief and was glad the rest of the night would be uneventful.

Cam offered to drive her home. He hadn’t been drinking in a while, and they still had to walk across campus to his car. She went to the restroom before leaving, and on her way out, she ran into Pace.

“Hey,” he said with a smile.

“Were you waiting for me?” she asked, suddenly suspicious.

“No. Just happened to run into you. I like Cam.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

“He’s a nice guy.”

“And?”

“And nothing, Bri,” he said with a smug smile. “He’s just nice. Seems good for you.”

Her guard was immediately raised. “What the fuck did you do?”

“Nothing! Christ! I can’t say I like the new boyfriend? Don’t jump down my throat.”

He disappeared inside the men’s restroom, and she glared after him. She didn’t trust him to be so cavalier. He had looked way too pleased with himself. She bit her lip, trying to figure out what he might have done. Had he told Eric to come to Posse? No, Eric knew better than to listen to Pace. Had he said something to Cam?

Grr. I don’t know.

She walked back to Cam with her head full of all the schemes Pace could have enacted. She knew if it were herself, a million things could have happened. He could have seen her and Eric kiss. He could have videotaped her dance with Gates and sent it to TMZ. He was probably the one who had told Cam that she and Gates had dated. She didn’t know what else Pace might have done, and it made her nervous.

Cam took her hand as they left the club. Their walk across campus was silent. Presumably, she should have been enjoying his company, but she was too caught up in what Pace could have done. Maybe that was what he had wanted all along. He could have totally been bluffing. She nearly groaned with frustration.

If Cam recognized her mood, he didn’t say anything. She got in his Mustang, and he drove the short distance back to her apartment. As they walked up to the top floor, he wrapped an arm around her waist and squeezed her side. It brought her back to reality, and she instantly felt bad for letting her mind wander.

“I had a good night,” he said once they reached the door.

“Me, too. Despite some of the setbacks.”

“Water under the bridge.”

His lips touched hers, and she felt this weird sensation creeping through her stomach. It felt like sewage was being poured directly into her gut. She had never felt like this before. Horrible. Awful. Wretched.