Down London Road, стр. 52

That sounded slightly ominous. ‘Something?’

‘Well … Braden proposed to me yesterday.’

WHAT? ‘Oh, my God.’

‘I said yes.’

‘What?’ I laughed happily, hearing her throaty and quite obviously pleased chuckle on the other end of the line. ‘I’m so happy for you! Congratulations, hon, and tell Braden I said “about time”!’

Her laughter warmed my frozen cheeks. ‘I will. Look, Ellie is already planning a dreaded engagement party, so, um, we’ll talk when you get back. Hope “meeting the parents weekend” has gone well.’

‘Very well. Not as well as your weekend, obviously.’

‘Yeah. Well, he paid a cab driver to be in on it and he proposed in Bruntsfield in the cab just where we met. He pulled out a ring, told me he loved me and that he’d try not to fuck it up if I tried not to fuck it up, so how could I say no?’

I snorted. ‘You couldn’t. Sounds like the perfect proposal for you.’

Her voice softened. ‘Yeah, it kind of was.’

‘So happy for you.’

‘Thanks, Jo. I’ll see you soon?’

‘Soon.’

We hung up and Andy looked at me with a quirked eyebrow. ‘Good news?’

I nodded. ‘My best friend just got engaged. She doesn’t have any family of her own, so this is amazing for her.’ Suddenly tears pricked my eyes at the thought of everything Joss was gaining, and I laughed a little weepily, feeling like an idiot.

‘What’s going on?’ Cam approached, his eyebrows drawn together in a glower. ‘Why are you upset?’

‘I’m not upset.’ I waved him off with a goofy smile and held up my phone. ‘That was Joss. She and Braden just got engaged.’

Cam grinned, hooking an arm around my neck to draw me into his side. ‘Come here, sappy girl. The brisk coastal wind will dry those tears.’

I cuddled into him. ‘Don’t you think it’s great news?’

He nodded, his eyes bright on me. ‘I think it’s brilliant news. She’s a good girl, deserves to be happy.’

God, he was lovely sometimes.

‘And Braden is a brave man. I’ll need to buy him a pint when we get back.’

Andy grunted at our side. ‘A pint for a soldier going off to war.’

Cam’s shoulders shook beneath my head. ‘Exactly.’

‘For a general surveying his battlefield and using logic against an illogical foe.’

‘Yep.’

‘For a warrior about to head into the mouth of the dragon’s cave.’

‘Definitely.’

‘For –’

‘Okay, okay, funny men,’ I interrupted with a huff. ‘Who needs a coastal wind to dry the eyes when I’m in the presence of the MacCabe sense of humour?’

Andy shot me a wry smile and then turned a full-blown grin on Cam as we drew closer to Cole, Lena and Bryn. ‘You better keep this one, son.’

20

‘Hello, beautiful.’ A deep, familiar voice brought my head up from the letter I was shoving into an envelope.

Greeted by the sight of Malcolm standing in the doorway to Mr Meikle’s reception area, I smiled. My heart thudded a little faster as he smiled back affectionately, all class and polish in his designer suit. ‘Malcolm,’ I replied warmly.

His dark eyes glittered as he strolled casually into the room towards me. ‘It’s good to see you.’

I stayed frozen awkwardly in place for a moment as I decided what I should do, how I should greet him. Malcolm waited on the other side of my desk, his eyebrows raised in question.

After seeing his name on the appointment sheet today, I’d felt my stomach start to do flips. We’d been texting, but this would be the first time we’d seen each other in person since the break-up. Now that he was here in front of me, I didn’t know how to react.

Laughing a little at my own nervousness, I pushed back from the desk and rounded it, my arms open. He immediately drew me into a tight hug that I reciprocated, surprised by how glad I was to see him. I had to pull away, however, when his hands started sliding slowly down my back. My cheeks were flushed with guilt for letting Malcolm get close enough to touch me in any way that was remotely more than friendly.

It had been two weeks since the Saturday with Cam’s parents and Cam and I had been dating each other for just over six weeks. Six weeks didn’t sound like long, but it felt like forever. Long enough for me to know that this was the kind of flirtatious interaction with another guy that would piss my boyfriend off.

‘You look good.’ I gave him another quick smile to cover my abrupt departure from the hug.

‘You too. I take it you’re well?’

I nodded, and sat back in my chair, looking up at him with genuine interest. ‘And you?’

‘Yes. I’m good. You know me.’

‘And how’s your single mother of one?’

He laughed drily. ‘Ah, over. We didn’t quite fit.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.’

‘And Cameron?’

My cheeks heated again and I had to force myself to meet his eyes. ‘He’s good.’

Malcolm frowned. ‘Still taking care of you?’

‘He is.’

‘Good.’ He blew air out between his lips, glancing around, I think attempting to appear casual. ‘I take it he’s met Cole and your mum?’

Crap. More guilt washed over me and I found myself choking on the answer. I suddenly felt panicked that if I told him the truth, that Cam knew more about my life than I had ever let Malcolm know, I would hurt this man even more than I already had.

My silence at his question seemed to provide my answer. His eyes dimmed as he watched me. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’

‘Malcolm!’ Mr Meikle boomed as he threw his office door open. ‘Joanne didn’t tell me you’d arrived. Come in, come in.’

It was the first time I’d ever been grateful to my harsh employer. He’d saved me from having to answer to that wounded look on Malcolm’s face.

The entire time Malcolm was in Meikle’s office I watched the door like a hawk, chewing on my lip, my knee bouncing up and down with my anxiety as I waited for him to reappear. I spent twenty minutes building myself up to his reaction and in the end he walked out the door, threw me a casual smile, and told me he’d talk to me soon. Then he left.

I wilted against my chair, the tension draining from my body.

‘Johanna.’

I snapped around, surprised not only that Mr Meikle had got my name correct but also that he had uttered it in a tone that was scathing, even for him. He stood in his doorway, his eyes narrowed on me, his expression almost incredulous. ‘Sir?’

‘You broke up with Malcolm Hendry?’

My fingernails bit into the palm of my hands at the inappropriate question while my brain cursed Malcolm to hell. ‘Sir.’

‘You silly girl.’ He shook his head, almost as if he felt sorry for me. My heart began to thump in preparation for the insult I knew was coming, my blood already heating with anger. ‘A girl with your limited talents should think more carefully in future before throwing away the opportunity to attach yourself to an affluent man like Malcolm Hendry.’

His unkind attack slapped me back into the past.

‘Get out of my way!’ Dad bellowed, kicking out at me, catching my buttocks with his work boot as I passed. I stumbled, humiliation and pain making me whirl around and glare at him in defiance. His face darkened and he took a menacing step towards me. ‘Dinnae you look at me like that. Dinnae you! You’re nothing. Absolutely worthless.’

The memory, summoned by Mr Meikle’s condescension, pinned me in my seat. My skin grew hot with renewed humiliation. It’s hard to believe you’re anything but worthless when a parent spends most of your formative years telling you you’re useless. A big nothing. I knew I’d carried that with me. It didn’t take a genius to understand why I had such low self-esteem, or why I had very little belief in myself.

Or why I probably never would.

However, I’d grown so used to thinking that way about myself that when others thought it too it didn’t seem wrong. Although Joss had spent the last few months attempting to make me see that it was wrong, it had never fully got through to me.