Archer's Voice, стр. 56

My uncle passed away four years ago. He made all his own arrangements and was cremated. The medical examiner's crew came to take his body away and they brought his ashes back a week later. I didn't see another person for the next six months.

My uncle had a food stockpile down in the cellar–part of his crazy paranoia–and it kept me alive for that long. I started growing my hair, my beard… I didn't know exactly why at the time, but now I think it was another way to hide from the people I knew I'd eventually have to face. Crazy, right? His eyes found mine again.

I shook my head vigorously. "No, not crazy at all," I said softly.

He paused, looking at me and then went on. I held my breath. This was the first real time he had opened up to me on his own, without my probing.

The first time I left for the grocery store, it took me two hours to walk up that driveway, Bree, he said brokenly. Two hours.

"Oh, Archer," I breathed, tears coming to my eyes, my hands gripping his thighs, anchoring me to him. "You did it though, it was hard, but you did it."

He nodded. Yeah, I did it. People looked at me, whispered. I grabbed some bread and peanut butter and lived off of it for a week until I worked up the courage to go back out again. He huffed out a small breath, his face pained. I hadn't been off this land since I was seven years old, Bree.

He looked past me for a minute, obviously remembering. After a while though, it got better. I ignored people and they ignored me–I just started blending in, I guess. If someone spoke to me, I looked the other way. It was fine after that. I took up projects around here and stayed busy. I was lonely, so damn lonely. He ran a hand through his hair, his expression tortured. But I tired myself out most days…

I felt the tears shimmering in my eyes, understanding even more deeply the bravery it had taken for Archer to even take one step off this land.

"Then you went out with Travis… and to see me at the diner," I said. "You did that, Archer. And it was incredibly courageous."

He sighed. Yeah, I did it. But it had been four years by that point. It took me four years to take another step–and I didn't even like it.

"You didn't like it with Travis because he was the wrong person, untrustworthy, but you liked it with me, right? It was okay, then?"

He looked down at me, his eyes filled with tenderness when he put one hand up on my cheek for a second and then brought it down. Yes, it's always okay when I'm with you.

I leaned into him. "I won't leave you, Archer," I whispered, blinking the tears out of my eyes as I looked up at him.

His eyes warmed even more as he gazed down at me. That's a big burden for someone, Bree. To feel like if you leave a person, their whole life is going to crumble to dust. That's what I've been out here thinking about. What a burden I might end up being to you, the pressure you'll feel just loving me.

I shook my head. "No," I said, but my heart hammered hollowly in my chest because I understood what he was saying, too. I didn't agree, and as far as I was concerned in that moment, there would be no reason on earth that I would ever leave him, but his insecurity hit me square in the gut because it made sense.

Archer reached down and tilted my head slightly, his eyes moving to the side of my neck where the hickey he had given me was–still dark red and angry looking, I was sure. He cringed and let go of me and then brought his hands up. I don't know how to do any of this. You deserve better than the nothing I have to offer you. But it hurts even more to think of letting you go. He sighed, his eyes moving over my face. There are so many things I feel like I still need to figure out and so many things working against us. He brought one hand up and raked it through his hair, his face pained. My brain hurts when I think about it all.

"Then let's not think about it now," I said gently. "Let's take one day at a time and just figure it out as it comes, okay? It feels overwhelming now because you're thinking about it all at once. Let's just take this slowly."

He gazed down at me for several seconds and then nodded his head. I stood up and sat on his lap and hugged him close, burying my head in his neck. We sat that way for several more minutes and then he picked me up and carried me back to bed. As I drifted off to sleep in his arms, it occurred to me dreamily that I had thought saying we loved each other would make us stronger–but instead, for Archer, it just made the stakes higher.

CHAPTER 26

Bree

The next morning I got up early for work and Archer got up with me, kissing me at the door. He looked sleepy and sexy and I took a few more minutes than I should, lingering at his lips, just rubbing mine over his. I still needed to go home and shower and get my uniform. Hopefully Natalie had taken Phoebe out and fed her. When I leaned back away from Archer, I said, Natalie and Jordan are picking me up right after work, so I'll see you as soon as I get back, okay?

He nodded at me, his face going serious.

Hey, I joked, take this time to get some actual sleep. Think of it as a week long break from having to service my insatiable sexual needs constantly.

He grinned a sleepy grin and signed back, I love your insatiable sexual needs. Hurry back to me.

I laughed a small laugh and breathed out. I will. I love you, Archer.

I love you, Bree. He smiled a sweet smile at me and I lingered, not wanting to say goodbye. Finally, he smacked me playfully on the butt and said, Go. I laughed softly and waved at him as I walked up the driveway, blowing him kisses before I shut the gate behind me. He stood there in his jeans, no shirt on, his hands in his front pockets, a small smile on his face. God, I'd miss him.

It was a busy day at the diner which was good since the day passed quickly, and I didn't have too long to linger in my thoughts over how much I was going to miss Archer–hell, how much I was going to miss the entire town. It had been such a short time, really, but already I felt like this was home. I missed my friends back in Ohio, but I knew that my life was here now.

Natalie and Jordan picked me up right at three o'clock, and I changed into jeans and a t-shirt in the bathroom and said quick goodbyes to Maggie and Norm. We hopped in my car, Jordan driving and Phoebe chuffing softly at me from her carrier, and got right on the road.

"What'd you guys do all day?" I asked, trying to distract myself from the ball of emotion that was already moving up my throat as we got on the highway and moved further away from Pelion.

"We walked along the lake for a little bit," Natalie said. "But it was so cold we didn't stay long. We drove across the lake to the town on the other side for lunch and checked out some of the shops. It was really nice, Bree. I can see why you like it here."

I nodded. "The summer was beautiful, but the fall is–" My phone chimed, cutting me off. I frowned. Who could that be? Maybe Avery? The only other people who ever texted me were sitting in the car.

I picked my phone up and looked at the text from an unknown number. I frowned, clicking on it. It said:

Is it too soon to start missing you? Archer

My eyes widened and I pulled back from the phone, surprise taking over. I sucked in a breath. Archer? How in the world?

I looked up to the front passenger seat where Natalie was sitting. "Archer's texting me!" I said. "How is Archer texting me?"