In Your Heart, стр. 55

“Exactly. That makes me even more of an asshole.”

“Do you think we can just forget both of our assholish ways for tonight?”

He chuckled, his laughter rumbling against my ear. “We can do that.”

A minute passed. “And Ezra?”

“Yeah?”

“Please, don’t let go of me,” I begged, my hold on his shirt tightening.

“Never, sweetheart.”

I woke up a little after five in the morning.

Ezra was still wrapped around me, his dark hair tousled over his forehead, and his lips parted with sleep.

I sat up, my hair sweeping over my shoulder. I smiled at the sight of him sleeping so peacefully in my bed.

I couldn’t seem to stop myself as I reached out and traced my finger over the contours of his mouth. He was entirely too perfect.

I was too restless to stay in bed so I slipped out of his arms and padded out of the room.

The house was silent and I knew it would be hours before the others began stirring since our flight didn’t leave until eleven—and since we’d flown in on the record company’s private jet that was reserved for Willow Creek’s use, we didn’t have to worry about being at the airport crazy early to get through security.

I opened the refrigerator and blinked rapidly at the sudden brightness. Once my eyes had adjusted I reached inside and grabbed a bottle of water.

I sat down at the kitchen table and looked out the window at the darkened ocean as I sipped at my water.

I tried my best to silence my mind and it must’ve worked, because I didn’t notice when Ezra came into the room.

“Are you okay?”

I jumped at the sound of his voice and looked over my shoulder to see him standing there adorably rumpled in his pajamas with his round Harry Potter looking glasses perched on his nose.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I’m fine.”

“Do you mind if I sit?” He motioned to the chair.

“I don’t care.”

I expected him to sit in one of the empty chairs, but instead he picked me up and took mine, before depositing me in his lap.

I settled against his chest as my body automatically curled into his. We felt so right together.

“You know more about me than anybody.” I whispered into the darkened kitchen and tilted my head back so I could see his reaction.

His dark brows furrowed together and he gave me a peculiar look. “I’m your best friend. I’m supposed to know.”

“Yeah…but don’t you think it’s more than that? Like maybe…” I trailed off, brushing my fingers against this collarbone.

“Maybe what?” He asked, his eyes drifting away from me as he looked out the window. It seemed like he didn’t really want to hear what I’d been going to say.

“Never mind,” I sighed.

While I felt that my connection with Ezra was deeper than friendship, he clearly didn’t feel the same way. I’d thrown away our friendship once, and I refused to do it again by trying to pursue a feeling he didn’t even return, although I was afraid I was going to end up losing our friendship anyway. It would be too hard being close to him and not being able to have him. I used to pride myself on being a strong girl, but even the strongest people eventually reach their breaking point. This was mine.

I sighed and leaned my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing the side of my forehead, “you know that, right?”

“Yeah.” And I did know it. I also knew he didn’t love me in the way I wanted him to.

“Good.” He took my chin and tilted my head up so that he could kiss me.

“Ohhh shit.”

I jumped away from Ezra, falling onto the floor and bruising my butt in the process.

Hayes stood in the kitchen with a hand slapped over his eyes.

“I saw nothing. I know nothing. I am nothing.”

I snorted.

“I am a mist. I do not exist,” he chanted, backing out of the kitchen with his eyes still covered. His hand fell suddenly and he grinned. “Oh, hey, look at me rhyming. Maybe I could be a rapper.”

“Don’t quit your day job,” Ezra laughed.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He grumbled and started to leave.

“Didn’t you come down here for something?” Ezra asked him and reached down to help me up.

“Oh, right. I wanted water.” Hayes grabbed his water and started his chant all over again. “I saw nothing. I know nothing. I am nothing. I am a mist. I do not exist.”

We could hear him still continuing on with his mantra through the living room and up the steps.

Ezra and I both dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“Thank God it was Hayes,” he chortled, “and not someone else.”

I nodded my head in agreement. That could’ve easily been a disaster.

“Are you ready to go back to bed?” He asked.

“I think so.”

He took my hand and led me up the stairs.

We cuddled into my bed once more and Ezra fell right to sleep. When he’d been asleep for a while, and I knew there was no chance of him hearing, I whispered into the darkness, “I’m in love with you.”

WE’D BEEN HOME from the beach for two weeks and in that time frame I’d been slowly distancing myself from Ezra. I knew he noticed the change, but he didn’t say anything. I could tell from the way his brows seemed to be permanently furrowed together that he was worried about me. I was fine though. Really, I was.

“So, what do you think?” The guy showing me the apartment asked.

This was the fifth one I’d seen in a week, and I felt I’d finally found the one. It was small, the kitchen, living room, and bedroom were all a part of one space. The bathroom was the only thing that was closed off. But I loved the charm. It had brick walls, an open ceiling, and touches that harkened to the era in which the building was built.

“I’ll take it.”

“I’ll get the paperwork drawn up.” He strolled from the room, leaving me alone in the open space. There was no furniture so I’d have to go shopping, but that was okay with me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and strolled over to one of the long windows that overlooked the street below. The apartment was only blocks from my store and if the weather was nice I could walk there. This was going to be good for me. I needed to distance myself from Ezra and the things that could not be.

I tapped my finger against the window and watched outside as a bird swooped down, landing on the edge of the window. It stared at me intently and tilted its head at me before flying away once more.

Behind me the door opened and the landlord stepped back inside. “I’d really like to get a renter in here as soon as possible, so there’s no contingency on the move in date. The place is ready for you when you want to move in…as you can see my last renter hauled ass out of here as fast as possible,” he griped. “I do require you to pay the first three months up front to lock in the place. Is that okay?”

“It’s not a problem.” I set my purse down on the counter and listened as he went over the paperwork. It was pretty basic and when he was done I signed my name on the bottom and handed him a check.

Once he had his money he seemed to be in a better mood. He led me outside and told me to have a good day. I waved goodbye and slid into my car, heading over to my store.

I was meeting Emma in thirty minutes for her second dress fitting. As soon as we got back from the beach I’d went to work on making it since time was not on our side. Plus, it was a valid excuse to avoid Ezra. We hadn’t had sex since we got back from the beach. I hadn’t slept in his bed either, even though he’d asked. A part of me wanted to jump his bones every second of the day while I still had the chance, but it hurt too much. That’s why I was moving out. I couldn’t shove my feelings to the side anymore and he didn’t have any for me, so I wasn’t going to fight this.