In Your Heart, стр. 47

With one last tender kiss to my forehead he tore away and I was left alone, but the ghost of his lips and words still lingered.

I BLINKED MY EYES.

One time.

Two.

The sight before me was still there.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” I asked.

Maddox looked up at me from where he sat on the floor beside Emma. “We’re having a hedgehog race.”

“I need some coffee,” I mumbled, striding into the kitchen. Surely once I had coffee all of this would make more sense.

When I returned to the living room they were still on the floor with dividers set up and each one held their pet hedgehog.

“We need to set some rules,” Maddox declared, lifting the hedgehog up to perch on his shoulder.

Emma sighed. “What kind of rules is a hedgehog going to understand?”

“Shh,” he scolded her, reaching up to cover Sonic’s ears, “he’ll hear you.”

Emma shook her head. “I say we just let them go and whichever one gets to the end first is the winner. Stop trying to make things complicated.”

I sat down on the couch, drawing my legs underneath me and sipped at my coffee as I watched them bicker.

“Fine.” Maddox relented, and scooped Sonic off his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Ezra asked as he yawned. His hair stuck up wildly around his head, making him adorably rumpled, and to torture me even more he was shirtless and wearing only a pair of loose gym shorts that left my ovaries panting. Yes, panting.

“They’re having a hedgehog race,” I answered.

He shook his head. “I need coffee.”

I raised the cup to my lips to hide my smile. I’d said the same thing.

Ezra returned and sat down beside me. The couch dipped with his added weight and I drifted towards him.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked, making small talk.

“Awful,” I supplied.

“And why was that?”

I shrugged, pretending not to know. “I got cold.”

He smiled. “Hmm, we’ll have to get you some extra blankets.”

“Yes, hopefully that will suffice.”

Below us, Maddox began to count. “One, two, three.”

They let the hedgehogs go.

Aquilla, Emma’s hedgehog, laid down and refused to move.

Sonic veered off to his right, knocking down the makeshift divider they’d made from cardboard.

“I don’t think they like this game,” Emma whispered conspiratorially.

“Sonic is clearly the winner, though.” Maddox argued.

“He didn’t do it right!” She countered.

“At least he moved,” Maddox reasoned.

She shook her head. “Fine, whatever, Sonic wins.”

“Thanks for seeing things my way.” Maddox grinned and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

She tried to feign that she was mad, but it didn’t last for long. Soon she was leaning into his touch and giggled when he kissed her neck.

I wanted that so bad, that sweet carefree kind of love, but the problem was I wanted it with someone that didn’t want me forever. I was nothing but a temporary pleasure and I hated that I’d reduced myself to that, but when you wanted something as bad as I wanted Ezra you’d do things you never thought you were willing to do. Maybe, I’d hoped that he would change his mind once we were together that way, but despite the things he said we were still nothing but a dirty little lie. Hiding from our friends, and even ourselves.

“Are you okay?” Ezra asked, his fingers lightly grazing my thigh before jerking away as if he’d forgotten we were in the presence of our friends.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

More lies.

Lies.

Lies.

Lies.

So many little lies, that I didn’t even know what the truth was anymore.

He looked at me like he didn’t believe me, but I stood up and left for the kitchen before he could say anything else.

I started pulling out the cartons of eggs, cheese, and spinach, to make omelets for everyone.

I heard footsteps entering the kitchen and my body tensed. “I said I was okay!” I snapped.

“Whoa! What did I do?”

I jerked. That wasn’t Ezra.

I turned around quickly, nearly rolling my ankle in the process, and found Hayes entering the kitchen.

“I thought you were someone else,” I confessed.

“Obviously,” he muttered, musing his sandy colored hair. He passed me and opened the refrigerator so that he could grab the orange juice. “I’m assuming you thought I was Ezra.” He said the words slowly, like he was dropping a bomb and waiting to see what I would do when it blew up.

His tanned, muscled, back was to me as he poured the juice

I still hadn’t spoken when he turned around and eyed me over the rim of the glass. “You gonna answer me?”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“No answer, is an answer.” He smiled gleefully and took a sip of the orange juice. “What did he do?”

I narrowed my eyes. I didn’t want to have this conversation with anybody, but definitely not with Hayes. He’d been so sweet to me and I’d thrown away any possibility with him because I was so hung up on my best friend.

“Ah,” Hayes snapped his fingers together, a dimple appearing in his cheek when he smiled, “it’s what he didn’t do, isn’t it?”

“He’s just being a guy,” I finally replied, “besides, friend’s fight.”

Although, this wasn’t really a fight since I was mad at myself, and my stupid, illogical, feelings.

“Uh-huh,” Hayes nodded, “friends. Sure.”

“I don’t know what you’re implying.” I played stupid as I got back to work making breakfast. Maybe if I ignored him long enough he’d go away.

He didn’t.

Instead, he made himself comfortable by leaning against the counter right in my personal space. If he was trying to intimidate me into spilling the beans it wasn’t going to happen. I grew up with a brother, sister, and two nosy parents whom I all loved dearly, but it taught me to keep my mouth shut on things better left unsaid.

“So, Arden,” he started, and I breathed a sigh of relief over the subject change, “what’s her story?”

“Why do you want to know?” I asked. I wasn’t just going to hand out free information. The boy had to work for it.

He shrugged his lean shoulders and tried to appear nonchalant. “She seems cool.”

“Are you interested?” I continued to pester him. Yeah, I knew I was doing to him exactly what I hadn’t wanted him to do to me, but he brought this subject up so he should’ve known it was coming.

“Maybe.” He set his glass down and propped his elbows on the counter. “Obviously there’s not a guy in the picture…” He trailed off, wanting me to fill in the blanks.

“Her husband left her shortly after she got pregnant.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I silenced him with a glare. “That’s all I know. She’s my friend, but I haven’t wanted to pry. I can tell it’s a sore subject for her. I don’t think he was a very nice guy.”

His lips pursed in contemplation and he grew quiet.

Minutes passed and finally I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him. “She’s a nice girl and she has a kid. Don’t try to pursue something with her if you’re not serious about it.”

Hayes cracked a smile and leaned forward. “Yeah, I know. I wouldn’t fuck her and bail. I’m done with being like that. Empty, meaningless, sex isn’t worth it to me anymore. I want someone to share my life with, not just my bed. And Arden…I really, really like her.”

I couldn’t believe how honest and open Hayes was being with me. I was used to the fun, joking Hayes, not one that carried on such serious conversations. I liked that I was getting to see a different side of him.

“Don’t hurt her,” I warned him. “She’s a good person and she doesn’t deserve to have her heart broken.”

“Hey,” he held up his hands in surrender, “don’t give me the third degree before I even fuck it up. Have some faith, Westbrook.”

I shook my head at him and turned towards the stove.