Dirty Angels, стр. 48

“Then what happened? Humor me.”

He clasped his hands together, his watch jangling.

“In a nutshell,” he said with an exasperated sigh, “I was trying to help her get revenge. I was also trying to show her who she really was, or who I still thought she was. In the end, my help did nothing. She’d changed. She played me. She threw me under a bus so she could be with another man, some dumb fuck, and laughed while I was taken away. I’m sure she knew I ended up in prison. I’m sure it only cemented her decision to be good. That was all the thanks I got for trying to help.” He shook his head, anger simmering in his eyes. “People are so fucking ungrateful.”

“So she broke your heart.”

He gave me a sidelong glance. “Don’t mistake broken pride for a broken heart. No man wants to look like a fool. Because of her, I lost almost everything, and it took years for me to get it all back. That isn’t something you can forget overnight.”

Now I understood the shield.

A few moments passed us by. One white and orange fish did several laps around the pond, eyeing me hopefully every time he came near. I thought about what Javier said, how he saw something in Ellie that he wanted to bring out of her. Her truth.

Finally I looked to Javier and shyly asked, “Will you help me?”

His brow furrowed delicately. “Help you what?”

“Help me see who I really am.”

He smirked. “I think you’re already finding that out. One day at a time.”

“But there are no days after tomorrow,” I said, trying to keep my voice as flat as possible.

Tension broke the surface of his face but he reined it in. “I guess you’re right. So what are we to do?”

Something, I screamed in my head. Anything!

I gulped my thoughts down so they didn’t dare escape from my lips. “I don’t know.”

He eyed Carlos who was now mowing behind a flowering bush then looked back at me. “You do,” he said, his heady gaze trailing to my lips. “What we’ve always done.”

He reached for my shoulder and slipped off the strap of my dress with his index finger. His eyes fastened to mine as he gently eased me back so I was lying flat on the bench. In moments, his pants were unzipped, my underwear was pushed to the side, and my leg was straight up against his shoulder. He pushed into me in broad daylight, while the lawnmower whirred in the background and the flowers perfumed the air with their delicate fragrance.

Even though I felt completely exposed to the living, breathing world that whirled around us, I was absolutely captive to the private one between us. When I came, my nails raking down his back and into the loose linen threads of his shirt, I was holding on to more than just him; I was holding on to the day, the moment, the second.

The time where I was queen.

And where I was free.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Javier

It was the middle of the night when Luisa woke me, just a few hours before dawn, before the day came and I would get Salvador’s call.

As usual, she woke me up in the most exquisite way—her naked body pressed against mine, hands in my hair, lips on my chest.

“What time is it?” I groaned, both from lack of sleep and from the way she pushed herself against my dick.

“Does it matter?” she asked softly.

I opened my eyes and made out her features in the waning dark. “No, it doesn’t. Not when you’re like this.”

Her pearly teeth flashed in a gorgeous smile. “Good,” she said. She trailed her fingers down the side of my face and that smile slowly vanished. I didn’t even have to ask why. I knew why. I knew what was coming. I was doing everything I could to steel my mind against the impossible choices I’d have to make in a few hours.

“Javier,” she whispered, my name sounding like heaven. “What are you going to do to me?”

I grinded my jaw, trying to keep it together. “Don’t ask me this.”

“But you must know.”

“But I don’t know,” I whispered harshly. “I’ll know when the time comes.”

“Will you promise to be the one to shoot me? Like you said.”

“I never said I would do that.”

“Will you promise?” she repeated, running her hands into my hair again.

“No,” I told her. And I was telling the truth. “I will not shoot you. I will not harm you. I will not kill you. Do you feel any better?”

She shook her head, and I could see how wet her eyes were. A tear drop fell on my chest and the hollowness beneath it grew. “I don’t feel better, because I know the others will. Salvador will not want me.”

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. “We don’t know that!” I hissed.

“And then so what if he does! Can you let me go? Can you watch me go back to him, to be his wife again?” She pressed her fingers into her tearstain and swirled it around my heart in angry circles. “Is that what you’re still capable of?”

Yes. I had to be.

“Luisa,” I said carefully, looking into her shining, desperate eyes. “You can’t save me.”

She smiled, letting out a caustic laugh. “I don’t want to save you,” she said, bringing her face closer to mine. “I want to join you.”

I stared at her, completely dazzled by what she had said. Even with everything that I was, she didn’t want to change me, she didn’t want to save me. Perhaps it was because I was so beyond saving. Either way, she saw who I was and all my filth and she wanted to roll around in it with me.

She had become my equal.

And in the morning she would become nothing.

“Did he say when he was calling?” Este asked with a hint of annoyance.

I couldn’t even answer him. My eyes were trained on the new flip phone lying on my desk in front of me. It was the exact same scene as the week before, except there was one difference. Este was right. Luisa had compromised me.

It didn’t mean I wasn’t going to do what I needed to do. But it meant that though I looked annoyed on the surface, I was being crushed underneath.

“Well, Javier told him exactly a week,” The Doctor said mildly. He adjusted his hat on his head. “I suppose Salvador could take him literally or not.”

“If it’s literal then he’s already late,” Este said. I could feel his eyes on me. “Are you sure Juanito is a good enough guard, Javi?”

I jerked my chin into a nod. They wanted Luisa guarded during this so I sent Juanito to do the job. The man had his flaws, but I knew he wouldn’t hurt her and would obey me. Someone like Este couldn’t always be trusted. My mind started picking that apart, wondering if perhaps one day I could get rid of Este before he attempted to get rid of me. My mind wanted to think about everything except what was about to happen.

“So what is our course of action if he wants her back?” The Doctor asked. “We shouldn’t give her over until everything is absolutely secure. We need proof of the shipping lane. We need physical evidence before we do anything. This might mean holding on to her for a few more days. But I’m sure Javier can handle that, can’t you boy?”

I barely heard him. My eyes willed the phone to ring, to get this fucking over with.

And, like God himself was the operator, the phone started dancing, vibrating on the desk. We all watched with bated breath before I snatched it up.

I waited a moment, that one golden moment where everything stayed the same, before I flipped it open.

“Hello,” I said into the receiver, relieved at how strong my voice was sounding. I could almost fool myself.

“Javier Bernal,” said Salvador, his voice dripping with false formality. “I’m glad you were waiting on my phone call. I almost forgot about it, you see. Nice to know you hadn’t.”

I pressed my lips together, hard, waiting for him to go on. He didn’t.

“No, I hadn’t,” I said with deliberation. “So what have you decided? Will you deal with me or not?”