Raw, стр. 57

Spending time at Casa de Twitch has not been as uncomfortable as I thought it would be.

I have a place where I can do my work, I have good company (when Ling isn’t around), and most of the time, it’s just me and Twitch hiding away in his bedroom.

That’s where the magic happens.

That’s where Twitch comes alive.

I love sex with Twitch, but…

Oh man, this is hard to admit.

But I miss the belt.

He doesn’t use it on me anymore. The sex is still rough, and he’s still very controlling, but it’s nowhere near how dark it was when we first met. And that first night…well…it set the tone of what I thought would come. And it did for a while. Alas, no more.

My poor vagina.

It misses the old Twitch as much as it loves the new Twitch.

A knock at my office door brings me back to the real world. “Come in.”

My eyes widen when the door opens and a familiar but very new face pops in. He smiles, “Hope I’m not disturbing you.”

I return his easy smile. “Not at all, Julius. How can I help you?”

Stepping in, he closes the door behind him and slowly looks around my office as he says, “You can help me, singing bird, by calling me Jay.”

Why is he here?

“Okay, Jay.”

Silence. Then he smirks, “Go on. Ask me why I’m here.”

I like this man. “But that would be rude.”

He counters, “Nuh uh. Rude is arrogance. Rude is feeling like you’re above people. Getting to the point of things ain’t rude, sugar. You’re sweet as pie. I know this and I only met you last night.”

A bright blush rises from my neck. “Th-thank you, Jay.”

After looking around my office, picking things up at random to examine, he sits in my guest chair with a sigh. “Twitch is my best friend. My best friend in the entire world. Known him a lifetime.”

If he wanted my interest, he certainly just got it.

But I’m confused. “He never mentioned you.”

Julius nods. “I suspect he wouldn’t. We met in juvie. It’s not exactly a nice tale. Definitely not one you wanna tell to try and impress your girl.”

He searches my face. I suddenly feel like a child when I whisper, “Tell me about him. Please.”

“That’s part of why I’m here. There’s some things you need to know about him. About why to not give up on him. Do you know why he was in juvie?” I nod and he says, “He was in a bad way when he got to me. He’d been in for about three days and no one could calm the boy down. He was picking fights with anyone and everyone. So much anger in him. Never seen anything like it. Almost like he was a wild animal they were trying to cage.” He smirks. “He caught my eye. I’d been in there two years when he came, so I knew the way of things and knew if he kept this up, he’d catch the eye of the guards. And their punishments. Well, let’s just say that they would’ve torn him a new asshole. Pun intended.”

I don’t know if I can hear this.

Julius continues, “One day in the quad, he picked a fight with the wrong kid. Small kid. Looking like he’d easily take a beating. But the kid was skilled. I jumped in before Twitch got his ass beat, and he repaid me by giving me a black eye. So that night, when we went back to our dorms to sleep, I stayed up. Waited ‘til the lights were out, got my shank out of its hiding spot, and went to find Twitch. He was sleeping. Having bad dreams. I snuck up on him, put the shank to his throat, and woke him up by slapping him clean across the face.”

“He jumped up, saw the shank, and stilled.” His eyes become soft. And depressed. “It was the saddest thing I ever saw. Like he was at peace with dying. I told him that he could fight me all he wanted, but he needed to choose a side. With me or against me. He didn’t say a word for a long time before he asked me what I was in for. So I told him honestly that I’d killed my dad.”

Enthralled in this tale, I gasp. Julius looks at me with a sad smile.

“He asked why I killed my daddy. I told him I caught him raping my sister.”

My heart is breaking for this man. The familiar sting of tears forming in my eyes begins, and Julius catches me trying to cover them.

“See that?” He says, pointing to my watery eyes, “That’s why he needs you.”

Clearing his throat, he goes on with his story. “So, Twitch decides he’s with me. I lowered my shank and we became friends in a second flat. There’s a trust there between us. I can’t really explain it. We were both kids, but I was curious and felt I had to ask him. So I did. I asked him why he was so angry. He told me when he was eight, his step-daddy tried to kill him. Choked the life out of him. He was dead for fourteen minutes before they brought him back. Said he had minor brain damage, and some doctors even said that’s where his anger stems from. I told him that he was right to be angry about that. He shook his head and corrected my assumptions. He said, ‘No. I’m angry because I didn’t die.’”

Swirling my chair around, I turn my back to Julius.

It’s a very private moment when your heart breaks. I don’t want him to see. I suddenly wish I was alone.

Breathing through a thick throat, I try in vain to keep the tears at bay.

Julius says, “He thinks of everybody as nobody. If you don’t give up on him, he’ll make you somebody.”

Covering my face with a hand, I feel the warmth of my tears flow over my palm as I listen to my office door open, then close. I think the words I can’t bring myself to say right now.

Thank you, Julius.

Coming home from a night out with Dave and Nikki, I unlock the door to my unit, and as soon as I step inside, I kick my heels off.

I have no idea why we women wear these things.

They’re just modern-day torture devices.

The only reason I wore these was because they were the bright red fancy ones Twitch bought me. To match the tight little black dress that he also bought me. And the red leather clutch and ruby red crystal pendant to match. All on Twitch’s expense.

Yikes.

I’m pretty sure my outfit tonight alone cost around a thousand dollars. Which is ridiculous if you ask me.

I needed a night with my girls. I say that without offence. Dave named himself one of us from the time we were in University together. So much love there.

I’m hungry.

I’m also drunk.

Holding onto the hallway wall for support, I take teeny tiny steps down to my room. Putting on some music, I sing along to Carrie Underwood’s Blown Away. Such a sad song.

“Sad song. I don’t want a sad song. I need something bouncy,” I tell myself.

Teetering on the spot, I point carefully at the buttons and search my playlist. Landing on The Fray’s Love Don’t Lie, I whoop and bounce along to the beat. Reaching onto my dresser for my hair brush, I brush through the bird’s nest that is my hair and think back on the night.

I met Dave and Nikki at the bar and sat on a rickety stool exchanging kisses and hugs. We spoke about what we got up to during the week, what was new and our relationships. Which was just weird, because it went a little like this…

I told them, “Everything with Twitch is good right now. He’s complicated and all, but he’s different with me. He treats me well. He likes to spoil me and I’m loving him more every day. So it’s going well, I guess.”

Nikki and Dave smiled sweetly at me. I’m so glad my friends are behind me on this. It matters so much to me.

Then Dave looked at Nikki and uttered, “How do you think things are going with Happy?”

She shrugged. “Good. I guess. The sex is bangin’, and I know he likes women, but…” She grinned up at Dave. “…I like watching Dave and him together. It’s hot.”