Raw, стр. 29
Her chest heaves with heavy breaths. “What if you read me wrong? What if it goes too far?”
Reaching up, my fingertips hold her chin firmly as I look into her eyes and ask seriously, “You like what we’ve done so far?”
She hesitates, and I know she wants to lie, so I’m surprised when she answers, “Yes. I did. You freak me out. You’re intense. And you kinda scare the shit out of me. But I like it.”
Hearing that makes me feel good. A little too good. Burying my face into her neck, I kiss the sensitive skin there and smile as her body shudders. Her next question has me seeing red. “So what do you like? Are you a Dom?”
Lifting my head away from her neck, I glare into her throat. My annoyance is clear when I snap, “Know what I don’t like? Labels.”
Her brow furrows. “Labels?”
Nodding, I confirm, “Labels.” Getting angrier by the second, I rant, “I like what I like and I make no excuses for that. Is what I like considered normal? Probably not. Yes, I think it’s clear that I enjoy being in control. Am I a Dom? No. Does that matter? No. Because I really don’t need anyone to get me unless I want them too.” My anger surges to a new level: Hulk. “Who the fuck is anyone to judge me? To put a label on me? No one knows me well enough to do that, and the people who do know me know that labelling me does not go well. So if you’re smart, Lex…you won’t do it.”
Lexi tries to stand. But I don’t let her up. My arm tightens around her waist and I hear panic in her voice. “I need you to let me go. I can’t think when you’re so close to me. I-I really didn’t like what I saw there, Twitch. I need some time to think. Time alone.”
Doing a remarkable job of suppressing my rage, I answer with a tight-lipped, “You can think later. Tonight, you stay with me. I already told Happy to arrange a car for Nicole and David.”
Her dim eyes light with anger. “Why would you—? Who do you think you—?” The cutest little growl comes from her throat and she stands, dislodging my arms from her waist. She begins to pace in front of me. “Listen, I know I didn’t make a big deal about you when you first started watching me. But shit! It’s creepy when you think about it. I don’t understand why I don’t feel unsafe around you, but I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that you saved me from that asshole who tried to rape me.” An emotion I’m not used to feeling settles over me. Guilt. She continues, “I need you to know that I’m currently in a state of freaked the fuck out. I won’t lie. You’re intriguing and attractive…well…gorgeous. And I was hoping to get to know you better. But now…” She stops her pacing to look into my eyes and says quietly, “…now I’m not so sure.”
Women are complicated creatures. I don’t know what to do with this information. It seems useless to me, but something deep in my gut tells me to listen to her.
Her shaking hands come together and she wrings them. “I need to go. And be away from you. I have a lot on my mind, and even though I like you in a weird way, you’re…” She swallows hard. “…I don’t think you’re good for me, Twitch.”
My lip curls, and before I can think of a response, the door clicks shut.
I’ve lost her.
As soon as I spy a smiling Happy at the bottom of the stairs, he takes one look at my face and his smile is replaced with a look of worry. Meeting me at the very last step, he wraps a large arm around my shoulders and I’m overcome with emotion. Gripping his lapel, I cry into his chest as he leads me through the back of the house to where a car is waiting.
He ushers me in, gives the driver my address, then says to me sadly, “Not everyone can be a fairy-tale hero.” He pauses a moment, then adds, “The world needs villains too.”
The car drives me home. I shower, then dress for bed.
I make an effort to text Nikki and Dave to let them know I’m home because I’m not feeling that great, and to party on without me.
Turning on my CD player and sliding under the covers, my last thought before I drift to sleep is how much I’m going to miss Twitch.
Stooping to a level I never thought I’d reach, I contemplate my current position.
My mind’s only excuse for what I’m doing is that I’m doing this for Lexi.
She needs me.
I need her.
I ignore my mind’s voice.
Because it’s wrong.
My bed dips, a tall body slides in behind me, and a strong arm comes around my waist, pulling me back into warmth.
My heart begins to race.
That’s when I smell his cologne.
I ask sleepily, “What are you doing here?”
Kissing my shoulder for a solid minute, he replies, “Ssssh. The more talking you do, the less time you’re thinking. So think, Angel. I’m just gettin’ some sleep.”
My heart stupidly swells.
He made an effort. He’s making an effort. Something tells me this is a big deal.
Leaning back into him, I whisper, “You’re not going to let me go, are you?”
Burying his face into my hair, he breathes me in and orders, “Sleep. Now.”
Unable to stop myself, I link my fingers with his at my hip and fall into a deep, restful slumber.
My brain at ease.
My heart content.
Today is not going well.
Turning left at the hall to get to Lexi’s office, I stop short when I hear a raised voice.
My brow furrows.
“You just don’t get it, Miss Ballentine! I have reasons. I can’t tell you what they are. You’re just going to have to trust me!” This comes from a young man. From the sounds of him, I’d say an adolescent.
Lexi shoots back, “Trust you like you obviously trust me?” Sarcasm drips from her voice.
I stand by the doorway and listen in on the heated exchange.