Raw, стр. 11

He doesn’t give anything away. His face remains devoid. Expressionless.

Slowly pulling down his pants, they get stuck around his ankles. Damn. I forgot his shoes. Hoping I haven’t fucked up for the thirty-eighth time tonight, I look up at him wide-eyed. But he silently lets me know it’s okay when he shoots me a small smile. Kneeling by his feet, I undo his laces and remove his shoes and socks before working his jeans all the way off.

Well.

That was awkward.

For me.

He extends a hand to me; I take his offering and he helps me stand. Then he does something I don’t expect. He pulls me forward, takes my arms, and wraps them around his waist. His arms circle my body. And there we stand, naked, in a firm and intense hug. I want to listen to his heartbeat. I need proof that he has one. A heart, that is. Turning my head to the side, I rest the side of my forehead on his chest, close my eyes, and sigh deep, squeezing his waist.

Just as I begin to feel I was worrying about nothing, his arms squeeze me tight. Really tight. Too damn tight. I’m constricted and feeling bound, so I tense. He says softly, “Don’t fight me. I can make this good for both of us.”

I silently agree, but my body has other plans. I begin to struggle in his arms and he chuckles. “Or fight. Whatever. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I need to, Alexa. It’s your choice.”

I continue my struggle and hiss out through gritted teeth, “There is no choice. I have no choice. I can’t move to make a fucking choice!” Clearly, I’m panicked.

Gripping me harder than he should, he orders, “Look at me.”

And I don’t want to; I’m feeling indignant. And suddenly bitter. I don’t want my right to choose to be taken away.

I don’t want to be weak.

Without an answer, Twitch releases one of his arms, and before I know it…

Thwack!

My ass throbs. That was even harder than last time! My mouth opens before I have a chance to think about what I’m doing. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Stop!”

Thwack!

The throbbing on my ass cheek feels like it’s on fire. But I keep going, “I don’t want to do this anymore! Stop, Twitch. I’ve had enough of this. I don’t want to be a weak little whore for you! We’re done!”

What I’ve just said makes his brow furrow. Deep. He loosens his hold on me completely, and when his arms fall away, I feel a tremendous loss that I can’t explain.

Stepping away from me, he stares me down a moment before he says slowly but firmly, “I don’t take weak women to bed. Never.” The air in the hall stills. And it’s frightening. “Not ever.”

I want him to explain what he means, but all I can do is wrap my arms around myself, covering my breasts. Finding some courage I must have stored deep inside of me, I open my mouth to ask what he means, but nothing comes out. Mouth gaping, I shut my trap and come to terms with the fact that this isn’t going to happen.

My chest aches.

Eyeing Twitch and his tall, solid body, I feel like crying.

What a damn shame.

A few minutes pass and we stand there still. When I risk looking up at him, his lip curves up at the side, giving him one of the most beautiful crooked smiles I’ve ever seen. Stepping forward, he wraps an arm loosely around my waist. “See? You’re not weak.” As I look up at him, he clarifies, “A weak woman would’ve apologized by now. And I know you want this like I want this, but you still didn’t apologize for saying something you meant. A weak woman would’ve apologized, even though she wasn’t sorry. Like I said, I don’t do weak women. Do you realize how strong a woman has to be to do what I’m asking?”

Huh. I never thought of it like that.

He goes on. “It takes a strong woman to let go of her fears and step out of her comfort zone into something that makes her unsure, and even scared. I get you’re an independent woman, and choice goes hand-in-hand with pride, but don’t misunderstand me. A strong woman can also be submissive in bed. It doesn’t make her weak. It makes her stronger than most. Putting your body into the hands of someone else…that takes balls.”

Both hands move down to my bare butt and palm me. He leans down and whispers, “I know I’m scaring you, but I promise you: you give yourself to me and I’ll make sure you never want sex any other way ever again. Be strong for me, Lexi.” Nipping my ear, I break out in goosebumps. “Give in.”

And just like that, I’m back on board. And hornier than sin.

Leaning down to the ground, he picks something up. He says, “Wrap your legs around me,” not a second before he lifts me. I wrap my legs high up on his waist, my arms circle his neck, and he carries me unhurriedly to my room. As soon as we reach the door, he sets me down and my eyes are drawn to the object in his hand.

His belt.

His thick, black leather belt.

My brain screams, “Oh, hell no!” but my heart shushes it. Twitch won’t hurt me. Not after what I went through the other night He wouldn’t.

Wouldn’t he?

Holy shit. It just hit me.

It just hit me that I don’t know this guy. Not even a little bit. I’ve basically let a stranger into my home and begged him to have sex with me. Sure, he saved me, but seriously…

What in God’s name is wrong with me?

You need him. You need to know who he is. Why he is. And why he watches you. Admit it, girl. You want him…as much as he wants you.

Oh, wow. I’m a stupid asshole. I’ll be having words with myself about this later. Right now, I’m distracted. My distraction is in the form of a sexy, tall tattooed man stroking himself, watching me through a hooded gaze.

Swallowing hard, I lift my face to meet his eyes. His hooded gaze travels down my body in a slow intense stare before making his way back up to my face.

Our eyes meet. There is a familiar gleam in those warm brown eyes.

And I know what he wants. And he’s going to get it.

Walking backwards to my bed, I stop when the frame hits the backs of my knees. Sitting, I push myself back to the middle of my bed, watching Twitch all the while. Lying in the middle of my bed, I extend my arms out at the sides.

Closing my eyes, I quietly but firmly whisper, “You win. I give in.”

The belt around my neck makes me feel like an animal on a lead. It’s not too tight, and it’s certainly not cutting off my air, but having something placed around my neck as if I’m a pet…I don’t feel good about it. It’s humiliating.

Twitch breathes hard into my ear and my pussy clenches, then floods.

Who knew dry-humping could be so erotic? He’s doing a good job at distracting me from my nasty thoughts.

As soon as I’d said the words I knew he needed to hear, I heard his footsteps cross the room, and my heart skipped multiple beats.

I wanted this. I could lie to him. I could lie to everyone. But I couldn’t lie to myself.

I always wanted to have sex with a stranger. It’s one of my secret fantasies. I hear it’s intense. I was about to find out just how intense.

Keeping my eyes closed, his hands gripped my hips and I was flipped to my stomach. Face down into my covers, he lifted my hips, elevating my ass, and I almost came right there. Something about a forceful man – a man who knows what he wants and will do what he has to to get it – turns me on something wild. Keeping my eyes closed, I waited for his touch. But before I could grasp what was happening, something came around my neck.

My life flashed before my eyes.

And what a sad life it was.

I have no real accomplishments. No real relationships. No one who would look for me too soon. In short, I suddenly felt pathetic.

I had escaped my family to get away from a toxic life and here I am, having dangerous sex with a dangerous man. A man who could hurt me in a way I never wanted to be hurt.