I Want It That Way, стр. 18
As we were closer to October, the nights held a chill instead of the balmy warmth left over from a summer day. So I took a blanket with me, along with my gift drop basket. Luckily, the TV was still on, or I’d probably have woken Lauren going outside. I had four chocolate no-bakes neatly lined up, and as soon as I spotted Ty, I lowered the basket to him.
“Bribing your neighbor to stop complaining about your night-stomping with baked goods? That’s shady. Felony territory.” But he emptied the basket before sending it up.
“Not at all. These are stove-top hush cookies, a misdemeanor at best.”
I was about to settle into my chair when Ty said, “Come down.”
My heart thumped like crazy. “My roommate’s asleep on the couch. I might wake her.”
“Then climb over. I’ll catch you.”
“Are you crazy?”
“Probably. Get your keys and then come down.”
The safe thing to do would be to say no. But I failed at self-preservation by sneaking in to grab my house keys, and then I came back out, quietly closing the balcony door behind me. Lauren stirred but she didn’t wake. Good thing, because she’d scream bloody murder if she saw me clambering over the edge of the balcony like this. I lowered myself slowly down the bars until I was hanging from the bottom of the ledge. Ty’s hands wrapped around my ankles.
“I’ve got you, don’t worry.”
“I’m trusting you.” It was a crazy, reckless leap, but he caught me. For a few perfect seconds, he just held me against him, but all too soon he set me on my feet. His hands slipped down my arms, and it seemed as if he lingered a beat too long, another. Silent, forbidden touching that argued that no matter how we tried, we’d never only be friends.
“You’re cold,” he said. “Let me get a blanket.”
In a flash, he came back with the chenille throw from the couch. It took all my self-control not to point out that his bed was probably even warmer. Ty led me over to the wicker love seat, and it gave me such a happy jolt to settle beside him. His patio was prettier close-up, and I admired it until he distracted me by dropping an arm around my shoulders. It could’ve passed as companionable, but we both knew the truth. Or I did, at least. Yet it didn’t stop me from snuggling into him, soaking in every shade of this experience.
“You know something?” he said quietly.
“Many somethings. But probably not the one you’re referring to.”
“The night of the party, I woke up before you did. Your head was back against the couch and I could’ve said something like, It’s time for you to leave. Instead, I made us more comfortable. You didn’t stir once.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I just...didn’t want you to go. I was simultaneously relieved and disappointed when Sam got me up later and you were gone.”
“Did he wonder why you weren’t in bed?”
“Nah. I’ve crashed out on the couch before while watching TV.”
“That’s good at least.” Pulling my legs to the side let me lean on Ty a little more, and by the way his arm tightened, he didn’t mind.
“You really got in my head that night.”
“What do you mean?”
“What you told me. About watching? Now it’s my favorite thing to think about.”
A surge of heat went through me. “Me, watching you?”
“Yeah.” He was looking at my mouth again. “If I’m not fantasizing about kissing you, then it’s that, and it never was before. You’re driving me crazy.”
“I’m not doing anything,” I protested.
Ty ran his fingers through my hair, conflict etched in the play of shadow on his face. “That’s part of the problem.”
CHAPTER NINE
“If I thought this is what you really want...” I hesitated long enough for him to say, Yes, let’s go for it. There’s nothing stopping us. The night was quiet apart from the wind whispering through the leaves. Deliberately, I pulled back, though I hated it when his hands dropped away.
“See you later?” His expression was unreadable; I couldn’t tell if he was pleased or disappointed that I respected his boundaries.
But if he’d changed his mind about us, he needed to say so. Otherwise, I couldn’t move forward without worrying that he’d regret it. I slipped out of the blanket and let myself out of the garden by the external gate, then I circled around to the front doors. Every muscle was tense as I slipped into the apartment, fearing I’d wake Lauren, and then have to answer questions about where I’d gone.
Max and I froze at the same time, eyes on each other? silently assessing. His face was naked and frightened when he realized I’d caught him being sweet. Lauren was sound asleep in his arms, and I guessed he was on the verge of carrying her to bed. So I made a go ahead gesture, but I didn’t speak. I was waiting with arms folded, one foot tapping silently, when he came back from tucking her in.
“How long has this been going on?” I whispered.
In the half-light from the flickering TV, his expression was an odd mixture of embarrassment and defiance. “What?”
“You’re into her.”
I was waiting for him to deny it, but he flopped onto the couch with a deep sigh. “So? It’s not happening.”
“This is why you wanted me to come to the movies the other night. You didn’t want to be alone with her.”
“I do,” he said quietly. “She just doesn’t want it back.”
“Am I actually hearing this? I could be persuaded to help, if you can convince me you don’t just want to hump and dump her.”
“If I got with Lauren, I wouldn’t be doing the leaving.”
“But Courtney, at the party—”
“We kissed, yeah. Afterward, we were bouncing a basketball off my door, genius. Neither one of us was particularly in a festive mood.”
“But it was your idea.” Then I realized the truth. “Because Lauren wanted to celebrate her new job. Damn, Max. I had no idea.”
I thought back, and for the past six months, more even, any little thing Lauren hinted at, Max made it happen. Not in a way that anyone would notice, of course; he was subtler than that. My heart ached a bit for him, but he and I had never been that close, more joke around friends than heartfelt moment ones.
“Nobody does,” he said with a shrug.
“You were kind of weird when she was gossiping with Angus before. I wondered what was up then.”
“I was jealous. He’s funny, he’s interesting, and she’s always snuggled up with him.”
“You remember he’s gay?”
“He’s still got more with her than I’ll ever have. I didn’t say it was reasonable.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Sure.” He turned a laser-sharp stare my way. “Explain why you were coming in past 3:00 a.m. with no shoes.”
I could’ve lied, but I doubted anything I came up with on the fly would fool Max, and since I knew one of his secrets, it seemed right that I should answer honestly. “I’ve been hanging out with our downstairs neighbor off and on.”
He didn’t react like I expected, a frown building. “Did he hit you up for a booty call?”
“God, I wish. But no, we’re just friends.”
“So we’re in the same predicament.” Max’s expression lightened, and he reached over to tousle my hair. “But don’t let some asshole use you for sex, Conrad. You’re better than that.”
“Hello, double standard. What if I want to use him for sex?”
Max cocked his head. “It’d be a lot less complicated if I asked you out.”
“Please. You have your pick of partners who’re just looking for some fun.” Standing up, I kissed the top of his head. “G’night.”
Lauren was snuggled in bed, oblivious as to how she got there, when I completed my bedtime ritual and climbed under the covers. Since it was almost four in the morning, I slept in the next day, until nearly noon. The rest of my no-bakes were gone, which pissed me off, since I’d planned to eat them for breakfast. Oats and peanut butter is healthy, dammit. Instead, I had to make do with generic cereal.