I Want It That Way, стр. 16

“I’m in, as long as we go to the late show. I have work to do first.”

“All work and no play, something something, make me a sandwich?” Max tried.

I smacked him on the way to the kitchen for some ramen, then I took the cup to my room and cracked open a virtual textbook while I ate. The reading went fast—well, for me; my lesson plan project less so, but I typed up some ideas and compiled a folder full of samples to give me more direction. Later, Lauren came in and got on her laptop, tapping away on her paper.

By nine, Max was wandering around our room, bored and touching things. When he opened my underwear drawer, I kicked him. “Fine, I get it. You’re ready to leave.”

I went in the bathroom, tried to tame my curls and brushed my teeth. Then I dodged into the closet and changed my shirt. The jeans were fine. I added a swipe of gloss, a beanie when I realized my hair was horrible, and emerged, scowling.

“It’s about time.” Lauren grinned to show she was kidding.

“I take it I’m driving.”

“If only I had a sidecar,” Max said.

Though I grumbled, I didn’t mind playing chauffeur. Max climbed in the back, letting Lauren have shotgun. I turned the music up really loud—to the point that it was impossible to do anything but scream along. Turned out it was a horror-movie parody Max wanted to see, so it was two bucks, as predicted. I ate nachos and chocolate for dinner, plus I laughed a lot.

Not bad.

It was late when we got home because Max talked us into swinging by the diner for midnight pancakes. They were delicious, but now I had to add a gym visit to my to-do list tomorrow. While Lauren and Max went straight to bed, I made a cup of tea and drank it alone on the balcony. Ty must be in bed by now. His patio was dark apart from the fading twinkle of his solar lights, and his living room lamp was off, too.

I drained the mug in a hurry and didn’t look up at the stars, not remotely ready to see if they’d shine as bright without him. It couldn’t happen, and I planned to fight this feeling, no surrender, until I could treat Ty with the same affection I gave my roomies.

“We could’ve been so good together,” I whispered to the night.

Leaving if only behind, I squared my shoulders and went silently inside.

CHAPTER EIGHT

The rest of September, I was strong.

I went to school and hung out with friends, did coursework, turned in my project on time and continued to doubt myself as I struggled in the practicum. Pretty much the only time I saw Ty was when he picked Sam up from school. Since he didn’t ask why I’d backed off, I figured he knew. If he minded, he’d say something, right? This wasn’t the typical dating move—run to see if he’ll chase you. It was far more basic and for the sake of self-preservation. I’d skated right up to the edge of falling for him, and had fallen hard, but since he was honest with me about his situation, I regrouped.

After that first time, Ty never acted like he didn’t know me. When our paths crossed outside the building or at the fitness center, we made casual conversation. He was friendly. Sometimes we talked about how Sam was doing at day care. If it stung a bit for things to be like this when we had so much damned potential, well, it was better than huge heartbreak later.

I’m being sensible. It makes no sense to fixate on a guy I can’t have.

Things were on a pretty even keel, and I wasn’t horrified by my test scores, mostly As and Bs. I had almost forgotten—okay, not at all—the rush of excitement I’d felt waiting for Ty on the balcony, so I was surprised to find him waiting one night after work. He’d picked Sam up and they left the building before me, but as I stepped outside, I saw them in the parking lot.

“Do you have a minute?” he asked.

“Sure.” I was too startled to say anything else.

“Let me get Sam squared away. Walk us to the car?”

“Please, Nadia?” The small Tyler gazed up at me imploringly, and I probably wouldn’t say no if he asked for a kidney.

“No problem, bud.”

He looked at me mock-reproachfully. “My name is Sam.” Then he laughed, because he never tired of that game.

While I’d spent less time with his dad lately, I spent twenty-odd hours a week with Sam. He was smart, adorable, funny, all-around awesome. Late at night, after doing my homework, I got on joke sites because he was obsessed with dinosaurs. So now, whenever I first saw him, I had to come up with a new one every time as a greeting. Today it was: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks! Then I wrote out the words, so he could really appreciate the joke. The day before, I hit him with, What do you call it when a dinosaur makes a goal with a soccer ball? A dino-score! His giggle was seriously the light of my life.

Tonight he melted my heart by hugging me tight around the neck and giving me a wet kiss on the cheek. “See you Monday!”

Then Ty buckled him into his car seat and shut the door, giving us a moment of privacy. I hadn’t let myself think about him or miss him, but right then, those repressed feelings swamped me. I was probably doing the hungry staring at the moment but I couldn’t help it.

“It feels like I haven’t talked to you in forever,” he said quietly.

“Been a few weeks.”

“But you’re never out of mind. Sam’s favorite sentence these days starts with ‘Nadia says...’ He’s always chattering about you.”

Trying for a friendly smile, I answered, “I’m glad he likes it here. I wouldn’t have recommended it if I didn’t honestly think it’s a great environment.”

“Yeah. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, though.”

“What’s up?” My faux-chipper expression wouldn’t give anything away, right?

Ty put a hand on my shoulder. “Stop that. Stop.”

“Huh?”

“Be real. Be you.”

It shook me that he knew me well enough already to understand that three weeks away from him hadn’t cured my feelings or even lessened them. Damn. I was so totally fooling myself. The warmth of his palm nearly melted my spine. Somehow I managed not to lean into him.

“Okay.” My smile dropped, and I gave him what he wanted. This face, you show me everything. “I missed you. But it seemed like a good idea to back off. We got in deep that night.”

“True, it was a little fast, and I’m not known for insta-bonding. So I appreciate the thinking time. And...I’d like to take you up on that offer, if it still stands.”

My heart skittered. “Which one?”

“Broken Arrow is playing this weekend, and I’ve been curious about their live shows. I’m dropping Sam off with my parents tonight. Would you go with me tomorrow?”

For a few seconds, I considered playing it cool. This was short notice, but if Lauren was asking, I wouldn’t blink over last-minute plans. “Absolutely. I’m going to a party tonight, but I haven’t made plans for Saturday yet.”

“I’d say I’ll pick you up, but it makes more sense for you to come downstairs when you’re ready.”

“Agreed. What kind of place is it?” I was wondering how I should dress.

“Underground whiskey bar, styled after a speakeasy. Do you know what that is?”

“Are you serious? Roaring ’20s. Prohibition. I did take U.S. History.”

He smiled down at me and the humor went clear through to his eyes, lighting them from within. “You’re cute when you’re defensive. Don’t take it personally. Most people in our age bracket would blank stare in response to the word speakeasy.”

“God, the way you talk.”

“I’m not a silver-tongued devil, I take it?”

I smirked. “Closer with the grumpy asshole warning.”

“You’re breaking my heart. Anyway, jeans will be fine, unless you just can’t resist dressing like a flapper. I respect the need for cosplay.”

The minute he said that, I mentally ransacked my closet, trying to remember if I had anything sparkly that could fit the bill. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”