The Story Of Us, стр. 19
“Do we?”
He turned and looked at my Dad. “Frank, dya mind if we go up to Georgia’s room so we can talk?”
My Dad’s eyes shifted to mine, “George?” he asked with eyebrows raised.
“Fine,” I huffed, I knew I was behaving like a complete brat but basically, that’s what I was, a sixteen year old brat, a really pissed off brat.
I threw myself on my bed, scooted up and sat with my back against the headboard; Sean lent on my closed bedroom door. “I didn’t do it G.”
“I didn’t think you did.”
“So why are you so pissed off with me?”
“Why was she in your room Sean?” He looks down at the floor and shakes his head.
“I was so drunk G, I’d done a couple of lines of coke, Marley wanted to get hold of her but she wouldn’t come back to the room unless I went.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did she want you to go back with them?”
He takes a few steps toward my bed, “George.”
“Why Sean, tell me why?” He sits on the edge of my bed and looks at me.
“She wanted a threesome.” I wanted to be sick, I wanted to punch him, and I wanted to kill her.
“And you went?’ He nodded.
“I’m so sorry G, I was off my face.”
“You were drunk and off your face and you went back to your room with Marley and Haley the whore for a threesome?”
“I didn’t know what I was doing G, I went back so that Marley could get hold of her, then I was just gonna leave them to it…” he trailed off.
It suddenly struck me, I wasn’t crying, I hadn’t cried since he called me Thursday night, I was hurt and angry and emotional but I didn’t cry, I just let that little man keep building that wall, higher and higher, one course at a time.
“So what happened?” He drags his hands through his hair and I want to do the same but I won’t, I can’t, I need him to look me in the eye as he explains what happened, I need him to tell me that he didn’t touch her, that he never laid a finger on her. I sit and stare at him for a few long moments and notice that his hair is almost perfectly straight now, the curls that he had when we first met have gone, he’s wearing it longer again. When did it grow? When did his curls disappear? It’s a simple observation but one that makes me realise he’s changing and because he’s not with me, I’m not noticing, I’m not part of his everyday world, this boy who’s skin I have known as well as my own these past few years has grown and changed and he’s done it all without me.
“I was so drunk.”
No! Please no.
“As soon as the door slammed shut behind us, she was on me.”
Oh Sean!
“She was on you?” He nods as he covers his face with his hands, his elbows resting on his knees, he’s sitting on the edge of my bed, angled toward me, his skin looks tanned, obviously from the time he’s spent in the sun these past few weeks, in the sun, around a pool, without me. Every single beat of my heart hurts, it echoes through my body and wherever it reaches, it causes pain, I don’t want it to hurt, I don’t want it to feel, I would rather it just stopped.
“How, how was she on you?” This time he shakes his head.
“Rocco had these pills, I only had one, Marley had a couple, they were, they made me feel fantastic, we danced for ages down by the pool, everything just felt good and I just felt so horny.”
“No, no, no! Get out, get out Sean, I don’t want to hear this.”
My stupid, stupid, naive, sixteen year old heart has now ceased to exist and something hard, harsh and cold is slowly taking its place but before it does, I need him to shut up and I need him to leave. Now!
“I love you G, you, no one else, no one else ever, please listen to me, it was the drugs, I just couldn’t stop, I couldn’t…”
Now it was time for me to cover my face with my hands, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to die. I slid off the bed and took my engagement ring from its hiding place and held it out to him.
“What are you doing? I don’t want that, it’s yours, I bought it for you G, I spoke to your Dad on the flight, he’s fine with it, he knew, he was expecting it, put it on, put it on and we can go down and tell everyone. G, put your ring on please.” He’s talking so fast but all I can hear is the phone ringing and my Dad shouting, then Marley’s shouting and the front door slams. My Dad and Marls are still shouting at each other and I just stand there, with the stupid, ugly ring between my thumb and index finger. I’ve barely eaten a thing all week and I feel light headed, the room is swaying and I want to be sick. Then my bedroom door flies open and Jimmie is there, she looks from me to Sean.
“What did you do, what did you do? You stupid fucker!” She launches herself at him, punching and kicking and screaming and I just continue to stand there holding the ring out to him.
Lennon comes in and pulls Jimmie off of Sean. “Leave it Jim, let them sort it out, it’s between them.”
“There’s pictures, there’s pictures you fucker!” Jimmie screams as she tries to fight her way out of Lennon’s arms. Sean stands up from where Jimmie knocked him back onto my bed and looks at Len.
“What, what are you talking about, what pictures?”
“She’s got pictures of what you were doing, pictures of you and Marley snorting Charlie off her tits and she’s sold them to the papers, you’re all over the Sunday papers you fucker!”
My world stops spinning, the little man lays his last brick and my heart stops beating the way that it used to, it’s enclosed safely behind a wall now, so it doesn’t feel, it doesn’t love, it doesn’t care anymore, it’s only use now is to keep me alive and I really don’t care if it even bothers to do that. Sean’s big brown eyes with their flecks of gold turn and meet mine but I can’t focus, I feel my legs give way and the floor starts to come toward me.
CHAPTER 9
I don’t pass out cold completely, everything just becomes hazy and I have no control or strength in my limbs. I’m aware of lots of shouting, Sean lifts me onto my bed, my Mum is crying, Jimmie is shouting and my Dad is arguing with Sean right over my head, as I look through it all, the noise, the faces, all I can see is Marley, standing in my bedroom door, sobbing. It’s a sight that will stay with me till the day I die.
My Dad tells Sean to leave, which eventually he does but only because Len drags him out of my room. I don’t know if he’s gone home or just down stairs, I don’t care, I just can’t be near him now. My Mum makes me drink hot sweet tea and it does actually make me feel a little better.
Everyone except Jimmie and my Mum finally leave my room, I lay on my side, curled into the foetal position, not making eye contact with either of them. My Mum is fussing around me and talking too much, finally she kneels down in front of me and strokes my hair. “Can I get you anything Georgia, a drink, something to eat; do you want your music on?” I shake my head.
“No Mum, I’m fine, could you just leave me on my own, thank you for looking after me but honestly, I’m fine, you need to go and get some sleep.”
She shakes her head back at me. “Oh George, there’ll be no sleeping here, the sun’s nearly up and your Dad has sent Tony and Nick out for the first editions of the papers so he can see what the damage is.” Jimmie fidgets next to me on the bed, she knows I don’t want to talk, hear or see anything to do with papers, the story, the charges or events of the past few days.
“Mum, you can do one thing for me.”
“What’s that George?”
“I don’t want to see those newspapers, I don’t want to know what’s in them, I don’t want to see, or hear about them ever and I do not want to see Sean.”
“Georgia, babe, don’t you think you should wait and find out first? It could be nothing; you know how the papers like to make things up.”
“Mum, please, I know Sean, I know him inside out and something went on in that room, I’m not saying the boys raped her, I don’t believe that for a second, but he couldn’t look me in the eye last night, he didn’t tell me something did go on but he couldn’t tell me that it didn’t and I can’t live with that Mum. If he’s having threesomes with girls in hotel rooms now, what’s it gonna be like when they’re really famous? It’s done, we’re over, he can go and live the life he’s been dreaming of and working so hard for all these years, he’s let me down and I don’t trust him, I don’t want to see him again, please Mum, I can’t see him.”