Dark Triumph, стр. 72

“Is Alyse buried here?” Beast asks, still staring out the window.

My skin pulls tight across my bones. “Yes.”

He turns from the window, his eyes bleak. “I would like to see her.”

I can think of a thousand places I would rather go, for the idea of visiting that place fair sets a wild clang of alarm bells ringing inside me, but I cannot refuse him this chance to visit his sister’s final resting place. “Wait here,” I tell him. “I must fetch the key.”

We step out of the castle into the raw spring evening, both of us quiet and lost in our own thoughts as we cross the inner courtyard and then go through the gate to the outbuildings beyond. Thick gray clouds scuttle across the sky, and I pray they will release their rain tonight rather than tomorrow, as a storm will greatly hamper our progress.

The closer we draw to the castle’s cemetery, the more my muscles twitch and spasm, desperate to avoid this place. My knees tremble with the effort to keep walking and not turn and run.

I lift the latch on the old rusty gate and push it open, its rarely used hinges squeaking in protest. My heart begins pounding and my breath comes faster, as if I have just run some great race. Beast looks at me in question. “There,” I say, pointing to the large mausoleum set near the back.

It is a grim and frightening place, not meant to bring comfort but to invoke all the demons of hell and damnation; that is what d’Albret is certain his wives deserve for having failed to please him in some way.

The building is made of gray marble, with devils and grotesques decorating its walls. The lintel over the doorway is a parade of cavorting gargoyles formed in darker stone.

“This looks like hell itself,” Beast mutters.

“It is meant to.” Pressure builds behind my brow as I lean down to fit the key to the rusty lock. I am filled with a violent urge to run away. I clamp down hard on my terror and turn the key. The lock falls open. I set my teeth, lift the latch, and put my shoulder to the door.

It swings open with ease. And then the ghosts are there, cold and lifeless, swirling about me—their whispering voices are no longer coherent, but I know their accusations by heart. There is his first wife, Jeanne, the one who thought to flee to her brother for sanctuary and instead brought death to them all. Next was Francoise, mother of Julian, Pierre, and Gabriel, who died while out riding alone with d’Albret. A fall from her horse broke her neck, some say, but few believe it.

My own mother, Iselle, whose only crime was that she bore him two daughters in a row. The first child was lucky, as she was stillborn. Then the next wife, Jehanne, who dared to take a lover, and then Blanche, whose belly grew great with child—only it was no babe, in the end, but a tumor. Once she was unable to bear children, d’Albret had no further use for her. And after that, Alyse.

One of the ghosts ignores me and floats toward Beast, circling him.

“What is that?” Beast asks as a shiver racks his great body.

“Alyse,” I tell him. “It is your sister’s ghost. Here.” I point to a long white marble coffin. “This is her tomb.”

Beast reaches out for my hand. In spite of his size, in spite of all the courage I know he possesses, he looks achingly vulnerable.

I take his offered hand; I cannot do otherwise.

I know I should look away, let him grieve in private, but I cannot. The sweet girl that I knew only briefly is the key to this gentle beast who has captured my heart. Besides, to look away smacks of cowardice, for I must bear witness to the misery my family has wrought.

When he is next to the coffin, he lets go of my hand, bows his great head, and closes his eyes, a spasm of grief distorting his face, his hands clenching into fists. I can feel the surge of his rage pound through his veins. He drops to his knees, and, unable to help myself, I go to him, but tentatively, afraid that after what my family has done to his, he will reject me.

But he does not. He grasps my hand in his and pulls me close until his head rests against my stomach. We stay like that a long time. How long, I do not know. But long enough for his heart to quiet and settle into a slow, steady rhythm, like a funeral drum. When he finally pulls away, I see he has found some measure of peace. But even so, the panic thrumming through my veins does not diminish.

At last he gets to his feet and brushes the dirt from his knees. Then he stops, his gaze falling on the tiny tomb to the right of Alyse’s. He turns to me with a stricken look. “Did Alyse have a second babe?”

Slowly, with every muscle in my body screaming at me to stop, I force myself to turn my own gaze to the small tomb. The beating of my heart grows so fast I fear it will burst out of my chest. Fiercely locked-away memories come rushing up from deep inside. Like water through a dam that has broken, they roar in my ears as I read the name engraved on the stone. “No,” I say with a voice I hardly recognize as my own. “That babe is mine.”

Chapter Forty-Five

I REMEMBER THE SCREAMING...

It was as if someone opened her mouth and all the anguish of hell came pouring out. It wasn’t until my father clouted me across the face—hard—that the sound stopped and I realized it was me.

And blood. I remember the blood. It was as if the bed had been dipped in a wide swath of dark crimson.

That has been all that I could remember of that day. But now, it all comes rushing back, a great black tide of despair and heartbreak.

My baby. Child of my womb. I have few memories of her, but they too have been locked behind this door.

“She stopped crying the moment they placed her in my arms. I remember her tiny hands, the even tinier fingernails, as she clutched my thumb in a surprisingly strong grip.” Her pink rosebud lips rooted around, eager to suckle and draw the warmth of mother’s milk into her tiny body.

We had but a hand span of moments together, my babe and I.

“I do not know how—from some unearthly power?—d’Albret heard her birthing cry and made his way to my chamber door. I looked up at his glowering form and bristling black beard and knew that if he let me keep this babe, I would do anything he asked of me. But even as I opened my mouth to tell him that, to give him my complete and unconditional surrender, he strode forward and grabbed the babe from my breast.

“She was so small, he could fit her head in one hand and it terrified me how carelessly he held her, but I said nothing for fear of antagonizing him. He carried her to the window, where he examined her small, dainty features in the light. I held my breath, hoping he was as bewitched by her perfect rosebud lips, her tiny little nose, and her dark blue eyes as I was.

“He lifted his eyes from the babe and turned them on me. ‘I had hoped the whelp was Julian’s.’

“In that moment, I saw what he meant to do. I struggled to get out of bed. ‘Stop him!’ I cried, but of course, none of the servants would dare cross him.” I look up into Beast’s stricken face. “Only Alyse. She was the only one who moved to save my baby. She threw herself at him, trying to grab the baby from his hands, but he struck her, knocking her to the ground, where she hit her head on the leg of the heavy wooden chair. I did not know until days later that she had died from the blow.

“Then he put his thick fingers around my baby’s frail neck and broke it. When he was done, he tossed the baby to the floor, and left the room.”

That was when the screaming started. And the blood, although I did not learn until later that it was my own birthing blood.

“After that, I remember very little. Strong, gentle hands pushing me back upon the bed. A sweet, bitter syrup being spooned down my throat. And then darkness. Blessed, blessed darkness. With not a drop of crimson in sight.