If You Deceive, стр. 65

She'd dreamed she was lost on the coast and couldn't find Ethan anywhere. At every turn, around each craggy bend, she got farther and farther from him, no matter how badly she yearned to find him—

Lightning flashed again. A storm was coming, making her ache turn to apprehension, and she leapt to her feet. Had Ethan not heard her cry out? Each night he slept in the room next to hers.

She ran to his room, but he wasn't there. Searching the manor with growing unease, she finally spied a light coming from the orangery and ran down the stairs and along the covered walk to reach him.

Inside, the loud rumble of the boiler echoed against the glass. She'd known he could fix it! But where was he? Catching her breath, she cried,"Ethan?"

The boiler whistled to a stop, and he shot to his feet, dropping tools as he strode for her. "What's happened?" he demanded, grasping her shoulders.

"N-nothing…"Now she felt silly for her reaction, like a frightened girl.

"Is a storm coming, then?" He glanced up at the glass ceiling. "I could no' hear it before."

"I…I think so. What are you doing here so late?"

"I wanted to surprise you. Get this thing running once and for all." He rubbed his palms down her arms. "Tell me what's troubling you, lass."

She gazed up at him and the words slipped out. "What has happened to us? What are we doing?"

"Truth?" he asked, tenderly brushing his thumb over her cheek.

"Truth," she answered with a firm nod.

He exhaled. "I'm giving you time to come to terms with everything, because I'm…I'm bloody dreading that you're going to tell me you want to go."

"Go? Am I going somewhere?"

"Do you no' want to? You have your own estate now. And you said once you got strong again, you'd make a final decision about us."

"Why haven'tyou said anything?"

"I doona want you to go—Ireally doona want you to go—but I dinna want to affect your decision. With everything that's happened—the illness and Bea's death and the babe…everyone thinks you must be feeling battered about just now. And I've been told that I occasionallyexert undue pressure to get my way. I dinna want to push you into a decision you would regret." Catching her eyes, he said, "I'm no' in this for the short cull,aingeal ."

"What if I've been trying to talk to you because I've decided that I want to give us another chance? That I want to stay here or at Carrickliffe or wherever, just as long as we can start again?"

He looked as if she'd slogged him, and his hands fell from her. "Even after all that I did?"

"Ethan, I admit I still have questions. I still have fears. But I don't believe we have to have everything figured out before I can…before I can get my husband back. And Ireally want my husband back."

"You're"—his voice broke lower—"you're keepin' me, then?"

"My life is with you. I just want to get back to it. Mind you, we still have a lot to muddle through, but I think you're worth the chance."

"Howcan you forgive me? There were times when it dinna seem possible tae me."

"Each day here, things became clearer," she murmured as the rain began to fall, pattering on the glass above them. "To forgive you, I simply recall how you faced hell to save my life. And then I remember how amazing it is when we have good days together." She twined her hands behind his neck and lightly pressed her body against the hard warmth of his, craving this closeness so badly. Their breaths were growing shallow, passion stoking, like the building storm outside. "Don't you think that's enough to start with?"

His big hand cupped her nape in that way that made her melt. "If it means I get you back…then, aye, I do." His other trailed to her bottom to gently knead her.

Once the storm began to whip outside, pelting the glass, she strangely was unafraid. For some reason, she didn't feel it was a harbinger of doom this time. She thought it mirrored the intensity of what was growing between them—his dark eyes were promising her a hot, thorough taking, and she knew hers were pleading for it.

He curled his finger under her chin as he rasped, "I'm goin' tae get it right this time, you know."

"I believe that, Scot." She gazed up at him with all the love she felt. "That's why you're still the dark horse I'm betting on."

"Ach, you're lookin' at me like you used tae. A husband could get used tae looks like that."

She smiled, whispering breathlessly, "I wager you're going to have to."

Epilogue

Not to marry, know love, or bind, their fate;

Your line to die for never seed shall take.

Death and torment to those caught in their wake,

Unless each son finds his forechosen mate…

For his true lady alone his life and heart can save.

Carrickliffe, Scotland

Easter Sunday, 1865

Ethan MacCarrick was the oldest brother and head of a family that…flourished.

He relaxed in the shade of an old oak, surveying the rolling lawn before him. His mother, brothers, and their wives and children were all here, gathered to join him and Maddy for an Easter christening.

Maddy sat on a blanket, laughing with the two older of their three amazing bairns. Three children she'd given him, all with bright blue eyes and black hair.

Their first son, Leith—whose entrance into the world had taken years off Ethan's life, though Maddy hadn't thought it was that bad—was now going on seven. He was larger than most twelve-

year-olds and clever, like his mother. Three-year-old Catriona was an imp with delicate features just like Maddy's, who already knew how to manage her da pitiably. And Ethan had their infant son cradled in one of his arms. For some reason, the boy fell asleep better tucked there. They'd named him Niall after one of Ethan's favorite wild cousins, who still harried the Continent with Court's former band of mercenaries.

Ethan had been wary when they'd first had Leith, the infant seeming to take all Maddy's attention away from him. Then his son had begun to cry forhim . And just like his mother, the lad had looked delighted whenever Ethan entered the room.

None of Ethan's bairns were afraid of his scarred visage, and they knew nothing of their father's dark deeds in the past.

Motherhood agreed with Maddy so damned much, and she was an adoring mother, unlike her own. She'd been able to forgive Sylvie for all that the woman had done to her, but not for what she'd done to Ethan.

When Maddy had confided that to him, Ethan had known she'd accepted him as her new family—the two of them together, ready to defend each other, and their children, to the last breath….

They'd married again here at Carrickliffe in a grand wedding, since Ethan had been so eager to show off the bride he'd somehow managed to win. The festivities had been overrun with Weylands, including Quin—who'd only reminded Ethan about a dozen times that he'd been warned about Maddy….

She caught Ethan staring at her then, and she slid him that grin. It still made his heart speed up, always would. He thought he loved her more than was healthy, but had long resigned himself to it. At night, he held her close, his heart so full that his chest ached.

Ethan knew his brothers and mother had been astounded that he was such a doting husband and father. They could be lost for their families, but Ethan couldn't?

Hugh and Jane had one four-year-old son and were "waiting" awhile for the next. Hugh had unaccountably wanted to name their boy after Ethan—and just as puzzling, Jane had let him. Ethan still scratched his head about that one. The lad was their world, and the three were happiest traveling to far-flung places. They were only in town for Niall's christening.

Court and Annalia had their son Aleix, their daughters little Fiona and toddler Elisabet, and another one on the way. Though Court loved his bairns, he swore each would be the last. Annalia just smiled and started knitting.