If You Deceive, стр. 56

When he allowed himself to think that his wife had been starving in a slum because of him, he took the rage that clawed at him—rage at himself—and suffered it as his penance. Then he would redouble his efforts to make her content.

"You know what I miss?" she'd told him a few weeks ago. "My horse at Iveley. She was so striking with her sorrel coat and expressive eyes. I swear she loved me as much as I did her."

So, naturally, he'd bought Maddy a sorrel mare, because he was like all those other besotted bastards out there, ready to slay dragons for their wives for even a hint of a smile. He took her riding every day.

His new horse, bought from the same stable as hers, was yet another stalwart gelding—which had taken a strong and unwavering dislike to Ethan. As ever, animals either loved him or hated him. Though Maddy had avowed, "I think all animals hate you—except cats." At his expression, she'd hastily added, "but feline approval is important."

At every opportunity, that sodding gelding strove to throw him, buck him, or scrape him from the saddle by slicing against a tree. Which made Maddy howl with laughter so hard, she had to hang onto her horse's mane to keep from falling out of her saddle. She laughed until even he would crack a grin.

Though he feared he was buying Maddytoo much, he couldn't seem to stop. He could easily afford it, and there were so many things that she'd needed and had been forced to go without. She should own such a collection of clothing and jewels that he would have to wait for her to get ready as she chose among them. If there was one thing Ethan knew husbands did, it was to wait on wives to get ready.

When he'd bought her a pearl choker a couple of weeks earlier, she'd said, "Ethan, this is all a tad…overwhelming." Her smile had been wan.

"I thought you wanted a rich husband," he'd said. "This is what rich husbands do."

"I didn't particularly want a man with money to get jewelry and trappings of wealth. I only wanted security and stability. For myself, and, well, for the children I want to have…."

Bairns.What if I canna give them to her? he thought yet again, tensing beside her.

Ethan had had that bloody curse hanging over him for so long that he'd begun to worry that he hadn't gotten Madeleine pregnant yet. And Ethan was somewhat annoyed by the fact that Court had been able to accomplish something in three weeks that Ethan hadn't managed in months.

Not that Ethan had ever expected to have bairns before. He hadn't—but for some reason, he'd begun tofeel that he would with her. Some thought would flash in his mind as though this were a foregone conclusion.

While Maddy still slept, he eased her to her back. Tugging the cover from her, he studied her naked body. He rubbed her flat belly and pictured her big with his child, lush and full, andlooked forward to it.

Ethan grew hard as rock at that image of her his mind conjured up. It was so primal—so stirring—that he felt possessive to a killing degree and aroused to an undeniable one.

The idea of planting his seed in her, then protecting her, keeping her happy and nurturing her as she grew it…

She woke to him pinning her wrists above her, entering her as she gasped. She moaned as he took her harder and harder, until he was plunging into her in a frenzy,trying .

Chapter Thirty-nine

During her walk down to the beach on a fine spring morning, Maddy was stalked by a black tom kitten.

Ethan had brought him from the village for her. She called him Petit Chat Noir.

After she rolled out her blanket and sat, she ruffled her fingers in the sand until he charged. But he soon grew less interested inla guerre and more inl'amitie. As Maddy petted his ears, she gazed out at the waves, musing over the last few months as Ethan's wife.

Ethan's transition from rough, secretive, aggressive Highlander to gentle, caring husband had been seamless and effortless.

In Maddy's imaginings. The reality had proved far different.

He was ridiculously overprotective. "You canna walk down to the beach by yourself," he'd decreed. "And absolutely no' into the village."

"Have you forgotten where I grew up?" she'd asked. "I daresay I can handle all that the treacherous seaside village can offer. What do you think I'll have to defend against? Scallops? Seaweed? Shells! Always the damned shells."

"Have your fun, young lass. But I will no' be moved from this. You must bring Sorcha."

He could be moody, sometimes staring off over the sea for what seemed like hours. She would give anything to know what he was thinking about. He was possessive, preferring to have her all to himself. "What do you mean, visitors?" he'd demanded just this morning. "We had some just two weeks ago. Do you no' like spendin' time withme ?"

And he could be intensely jealous…Once, when she and Ethan had spent a weekend in Ireland, an unwitting American tycoon had flirted with her on the ferry trip. She'd consoled herself by musing that the man's bruises would eventually fade. Plus, the Yank would probably never even glance at a Highlander's wife ever again, saving himself another beating.

She'd discovered that Ethan's superstitious nature ran deeper than she'd thought. He believed, for instance, that a clan seer had predicted Ethan and Maddy's unionfive hundred years ago ….

And if Maddy didn't know how much income Ethan made, she'd pronounce him a spendthrift. Packages were continually arriving. He'd bought her a horse, diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, and more clothing than she could wear in a lifetime. There was nothing left in the village for him to purchase for her. When she'd casually mentioned that she wanted to restore the orangery, within a week new parts for the furnace and a crop of citrus trees had arrived.

She had to wonder if he was buying her these gifts to make up for how poor she'd been. He couldn't know that every gift reminded her of how much she'd lacked.

Maddy had learned from him that his youngest brother's wife was also rich and even had royal Spanish blood. Maddy had become acutely aware that Ethan's brothers had both married accomplished heiresses, while Ethan had gotten the plucky chit from the slum. Maddy dreaded meeting Ethan's family, and for some reason, she sensed he equally dreaded it.

She'd begun wanting Ethan to see Iveley Hall, her childhood home, so he would recognize that she'd been brought up with great wealth and that her childhood had been idyllic up to a point—he needn't try to give her everything and the moon.

He had an estate he wanted to check on over the summer. Iveley wasn't directly on the way, but it wasn't more than an hour away by rail. She'd decided to write the owners and inquire if they might let her and Ethan have a short tour. Just to see it once more.

Surely Ethan would agree to take her. Yet even as she thought it, she wondered. She'd noticed that for some reason, whenever she mentioned Iveley, he tensed. She didn't think he even realized it, but there continued to be a barely perceptible change in him whenever she spoke of her former home. In fact, the same occurred whenever she mentioned her parents as well.

He claimed that he'd never met her parents or been to Iveley, but sometimes she wondered if he…lied.

He'd called her mother by her first name on more than one occasion, startling Maddy each time. And once, when Maddy had confided her fear that she would be a bad mother like her own, he'd disagreed so vehemently, she'd been taken aback. "How can you feel so strongly?" she'd asked. "Are you certain you never met her?"

"Aye. It's just clear that she was cruel to you, and since you doona have a cruel bone in your body, you can be nothing like her," he'd answered so smoothly….

But if there were shadows in their marriage, there was a great deal of sunshine as well.